׉?4ׁB!בCטu׉׉ 7cassandra://bRAn0BfMrP4J0Oelh9QDS9RTStHe5sDb9itepaQVZkY`׉ 7cassandra://o1VRG63yd_Y0kNx9rKf5ZnhBRoi48AA8xcQM4JaW5fA=`r׉ 7cassandra://KOQU59Jgo6dgqcEflJ3G9nPzTEFYJnROYGxC8REamv8`f PTQ׈Ef PTQ׉E׉ 7cassandra://KOQU59Jgo6dgqcEflJ3G9nPzTEFYJnROYGxC8REamv8`f PTQ؁f PTQׁבCטu׉׉ 7cassandra://3azBUUqBmHATRs22i5Ro4Rrfd5o2s0YQg6KwLc7rCdM~`׉ 7cassandra://gjX60AflJ_fvtPkLxJ-YHRpDp1-s1EUueRdoxCpgTuot``r׉ 7cassandra://JoU5_db_Kd3UXviO4peU1xhuFknj4Fnh85mzIS69HhA%+`f PTQטu׉׉ 7cassandra://7HMbDA1HKqcImhZe4Iv2I0OicETlDr1Ft3qaeb2dvrgh)`׉ 7cassandra://f_hroA1PjzoZ5SPvwXKIHu6kvOxq2FjL5Vbf0Hd1kc8͛`r׉ 7cassandra://1ks1hJd_mgfCgJmBhKL6g7MjfelS7-5Aw07llRv6lko0`f PTQנf PTQ " 9ׁH http://BIRDYMAGAZINE.COM/CONTACTׁ ׁ Јנf PTQ ş 9ׁHhttp://BIRDYMAGAZINE.COM/SHOPׁ ׁ Јנf PTQ F 9ׁH$http://BIRDYMAGAZINE.COM/SUBMISSIONSׁ ׁ Јנf PTQWp 9ׁHhttp://BIRDY.MAׁ ׁ Ј׉E׉ 7cassandra://JoU5_db_Kd3UXviO4peU1xhuFknj4Fnh85mzIS69HhA%+`f PTQ׉EISSUE 124 | APRIL 2024 DAVE DANZARA, I READ YOU - @LOSTINTIMEDESIGNS BAUDRILLARD: JONNY DESTEFANO NAYYIRAH: KRYSTI JOMÉI MURAKAMI: JULIANNA BECKERT VONNEGUT: KAYVAN S. T. KHALATBARI SHELLEY: CRISTIN COLVIN MAYNARD G. KREBS: MARK MOTHERSBAUGH FERLINGHETTI: MEGAN ARENSON FRONT COVER: NICK FLOOK, REX & RELAXATION - @FLOOKO BACK COVER: TRUE BELIEVERS ISSUE 1 VARIANT COVER: JAMIE LEE CURTIS BY MATTHEW THERRIEN CASTLES: NICK FLOOK, DAVE DANZARA, MOON_PATROL, JASON WHITE, BRIAN POLK, ERIK ROGERS, BEATIE WOLFE, TOM MURPHY, JOEL TAGERT, HANA ZITTEL, ERIC JOYNER, KATE RUSSELL, GRAHAM FRANCIOSE, GRAY WINSLER, STEPHEN GRAHAM JONES, JOSHUA VIOLA, ZAC DUNN, LUKE DIBONA, NATE BALDING STRANGERS: CHRISTOPHER CHANG, AARON ROSE, SHANNY SCHMIDT, BENJI GEARY, JESS GALLO, ATLAS MEDIA, SOMMERSBY, BEE LB, LINA GVOZDEVA, BEN MATSUYA, JEREMIAH LAMBERT, SKINNER, MATT MAGUIRE, LUIGI SCARCELLA, GWAR, R.L. STINE, JEFFREY REDDICK, MATTHEW KIICHI HEAFY, DEVON SAWA, DEATHGASM, MATTHEW THERRIEN, JAMIE LEE CURTIS CATCHERS IN THE RYE: MARIANO OREAMUNO, HANA ZITTEL, DS THORNBURG, PHIL GARZA, ZAC DUNN, MAGGIE D. FEDOROV, CRISTIN COLVIN SUPPORT OUR FRIENDS AND BENEFACTORS: MEOW WOLF, DENVER ART MUSEUM, MONKEY BARREL, DENVER THEATRE DISTRICT, UNDERSTUDY DENVER, NIGHT LIGHTS DENVER, OFF THE BOTTLE REFILL SHOP, ASTRO TOURS, MUTINY INFORMATION CAFE, BENNY BLANCO'S, HEX PUBLISHERS, TRUE BELIEVERS, COLORADO FESTIVAL OF HORROR, TOXOPLASMA ARTS FOLLOW US – IG: @BIRDY.MAGAZINE | FB: @BIRDYMAGAZINE BE IN BIRDY – ART + WORDS + COMEDY + ET CETERA: BIRDYMAGAZINE.COM/SUBMISSIONS MAILED SUBSCRIPTIONS + SINGLE & BACK ISSUES + MERCH: BIRDYMAGAZINE.COM/SHOP ADVERTISE IN BIRDY + SUPPORT US + HELP US GROW: BIRDYMAGAZINE.COM/CONTACT-US/#ADVERTISE BIRDY ALSO RISES, ON THE ROAD MONTHLY ©2024 BIRDY MAGAZINE, TALES OF ORDINARY MADNESS 1 ׉ 7cassandra://1ks1hJd_mgfCgJmBhKL6g7MjfelS7-5Aw07llRv6lko0`f PTQځf PTQفבCטu׉׉ 7cassandra://79_COydO2fpWRG1Bk6fXUjGGADJ8N5DUn91mk0qeb3QU`׉ 7cassandra://qFzeRc_IQt59TaKeSezw_xa89wSBmamPjujDzLH55u4i`r׉ 7cassandra://f79435KdaDUJ_sTu4PUquKl3V4XpSzum5Xh15F8CXks%w`f PTQטu׉׉ 7cassandra://4DAfF3HF_296SIqSbts3S3_thKta27Wv5HAF3OAuyHAQ`׉ 7cassandra://glpurKXUJaJAhXdViEIzj2_loZWkeL06sY4Bkw1V5wQ͋w`r׉ 7cassandra://PERnC9WA6K_q2aLjyb9jrF6yycNsKEI_iAYS3Y8Eb541?`f PTQ׉EART BY MOON_PATROL ׉ 7cassandra://f79435KdaDUJ_sTu4PUquKl3V4XpSzum5Xh15F8CXks%w`f PTQ׉E׉ 7cassandra://PERnC9WA6K_q2aLjyb9jrF6yycNsKEI_iAYS3Y8Eb541?`f PTQ܁f PTQہבCטu׉׉ 7cassandra://3DRrCXFjHTIFB_6OaXJGoqvaHedR-xl4X7l503rRX2w>`׉ 7cassandra://Lf-LBXA7qlyRIcIVVyziQKAtb7W7CziUeKNhZpoR8iM͈`r׉ 7cassandra://8nB5ka37aZUmkk_Tb-mscFrxUQkGXJQOVZqex8nbatI)`f PTQ טu׉׉ 7cassandra://1uYAdNgdeVTIvz8x6S3SmHUF48cUV3fE5_T_c5DfXagB`׉ 7cassandra://sIvGMjZZLgwZhMavdUAdn353_usbOMGZ6DMGFTbLv80͗D`r׉ 7cassandra://VDz0IVf34T4toDqu-pppiWT1X2I-Vk_RCxDFiy1Uf9s({`f PTQ נf PTQ̯9ׁHmailto:birdy@birdymagazine.comׁ ׁ Ј׉EIf I Ever Open A Bar, I’m Going To Replace Eco-friendly Paper Straws With Red Vines That Were Bitten Off At both Ends I figure this would be a lot less harmful to the environment than plastic straws and more durable than paper straws. And getting to eat the delicious red candy when you were done sipping your drink would be most satisfying. Now, I have anticipated some blowback from the weirdos that prefer Twizzlers to Red Vines. But since both licorices can ostensibly serve as a conduit by which to sip liquids, we could also stock Twizzlers to appease the folks whose taste buds simply do not work. (For those people, we could also stock cilantro as a garnish, since I bet they eat a ton of that stuff too.) Of course, since this is literally the only reason I would want to start a bar, the odds that I No. 124 follow through on my licorice-as-straws solution is pretty slim to none. So if there are any bars out there who are racking their brains trying to find an alternative to both paper and plastic straws, feel free to steal this idea. What Do You Do For A Dying? Everyone always asks what you do for a living, but no one ever asks what you do for a dying. I suppose that makes sense, since the way it’s phrased, the question could mean a few different things. First, the asker may be curious about whether or not you’ve embarked upon end-of-life planning: do you have a will, estate planning documents, and advanced healthcare directives? Second, the query may refer ׉ 7cassandra://8nB5ka37aZUmkk_Tb-mscFrxUQkGXJQOVZqex8nbatI)`f PTQ׉Eto what you’re doing to entice death: are you smoking, drinking too much, and not exercising or eating right? Third, I suppose it could be a clumsy way of asking if you’re about to murder someone. Fourth, you may mishear the question and assume they’re asking whether or not you’re going to a “die in” where you plan to “drink the Kool-Aid” (so to speak). And now that I’ve over-analyzed the shit out of this particular question, I suppose it’s far too fraught to bring up in polite society. So yeah, never mind. Do You Ever Suddenly Realize That You Haven’t Done Anything To Further Your Goal Of World Domination The Better Part Of A Year? It’s kind of sad when you realize your sole life ambition has been put on the back burner for reasons you really can’t control. Sure some dreams are worth giving up on, but your goal of world domination used to motivate you to amass arsenals, brainwash acquaintances, and write ever-more wordy and scatterbrained manifestos. And you’re giving all that up because your life got a little busy? Come on, now. That’s not the go-getter attitude that you need to show your adversaries who’s boss around here. You also don’t want to sully the memory of all those Pinky and the Brain cartoons that inspired your aspirations of total subjugation in the first place. So maybe make some time in your life for what’s important. Your friends and family may laugh at you, but they won’t be laughing when you’re the one in charge, now will they? I Often Wonder If Some Of My More Curmudgeonly Customers Experienced Their Last Laugh At The Age Of 17 At some point during Clinton’s first term, they must have read a Funky Winkerbean comic strip in the paper and laughed for what would be the very last time. And although they didn’t know it at that moment, they would never so much as crack a smile again. How else could you explain the fact that their whole adult lives have been spent making everyone else’s life as miserable as theirs? There’s something particularly pathetic and contemptible about taking advantage of a power dynamic (customer versus worker) in order to unload decades of crushing frustrations and resentments on someone who’s captive and has no choice but to take the abuse. You’d almost feel sorry for them if they weren’t so pitiful. I hope everyone reading this will make a promise to themselves never to become one of these people. There are so many more satisfying and productive ways to live. For example, getting an ice cream cone and tipping the worker who scooped it for you is a good place to start. I Was Cleaning And Found A Drawer Full Of 20 Percent Off Coupons To Bed Bath & Beyond Then I broke down in tears when I thought about all the times I paid full price at that store because I forgot to bring a damned coupon. And now that the retail outlet has gone out of business, I can never redeem myself (or these coupons). I’ve Decided That Instead Of Going To My Job Every Day, I’m Just Going To Be Rich So I Don’t Have To Work Since I don’t want to work anymore, I have come to the conclusion that I’m going to concoct a cunning plan to build a massive capitalist empire. The first step of this scheme is to obtain capital, since capitalists are the ones who own things that make money for them. That way they don’t have to lift a finger in order to pay for their extravagant lifestyles. I figure I would maybe buy a building and have people pay me money every month for the right to live there. Then maybe I would buy a grocery store where the very same people who were paying me for the right to sleep could also pay me for the right to eat. And then I might look into owning some kind of doctor’s office or hospital, so the people that are paying me for the right to sleep and eat could also pay me for the right to be healthy and pain-free. After securing all these money-making operations, I suppose I’d open a factory or retail store where I would employ the folks who are already paying me to live. And they could make even more money for me, and I would pay them a very small percentage of the wealth they created back to them — but not too much! (I figured not only would I not work, but I would also be, like, comically greedy.) And with this money I pay them, they would have no choice but to hand most of it right back if they want to keep sleeping in my building, eating my groceries, and going to my doctors. It all seems pretty simple when I spell it out like that. I wonder if anyone else has ever thought of this. What Does One Wear When They Go Shopping For Buildings? I just realized that I don’t have any nice clothes — much less the duds I imagine are required for building shopping. I don’t think anyone is going to sell me an apartment complex if I show up in my ripped up Alice Donut T-shirt, for example. Does anyone out there in reading land have any suggestions as to the attire one might don whilst completing step one in what will eventually be their massive capitalist empire? If so, send them to: birdy@birdymagazine.com, C/O Brian. Thanks, everyone! ERIK ROGERS - @EROCKROGERS ׉ 7cassandra://VDz0IVf34T4toDqu-pppiWT1X2I-Vk_RCxDFiy1Uf9s({`f PTQށf PTQ݁בCטu׉׉ 7cassandra://AjXVPWhWuZfFm6Us8SmCIOVQRKm3M5NUtuLSM7GFoB80`׉ 7cassandra://Z6laT1G9WeMTvQjeMz_L6gNqrPdu8zOcspyVMOICsqAzy`r׉ 7cassandra://okkEMjSahT0cNE4qam7YT7c4aRrEdD52s58MtrA5gQ8&`f PTQטu׉׉ 7cassandra://WrajVKQAlcvmq5Cv-BSSNSS8vzbg2y4nMTbrGetvaP4v `׉ 7cassandra://C2RDkpi7U7HrwROJ3Z-D481sf_H1vpUFlVhYXw-yFJQ͈`r׉ 7cassandra://kSUGCpHymwuuvaoebOV2_eTDh_NBjhI-TE8HvMg8X4E,`f PTQ׉E SOLAR SIGNS BY BEATIE WOLFE & AARON ROSE INTERVIEW BY KRYSTI JOMÉI Multidisciplinary artists Beatie Wolfe and Aaron Rose present Solar Signs, an intermedia display of shadow poetry and sun prints. Solarpowered and made from only three ingredients: recycled letters, the sun, and time, the piece captures shadow words revealed as the sun hits the hidden letters, celebrating nature's art and power to create on its own timescale, in ways that human beings often can't see or control. This minimalist art piece also serves as a poignant contemplation on sun and shade for those living in urban heat islands exacerbated by the climate crisis. Beatie and Aaron are launching the project in Denver as a three-part takeover including an exhibition at experimental gallery, Understudy, and a light projection on the iconic downtown clocktower in partnership with the Denver Theatre District, as well as a live art project during this year’s solar eclipse on April 8th. The third major solar eclipse visible in the U.S. in eight years, this one has the longest totality on land for over a decade, making it rare and special. And celebrating it here with Solar Signs is particularly meaningful for both Beatie and Aaron. Beatie used data from her visit to the National Institute of Standards and Technology (NIST) in Maryland and the National Science Foundation Ice Core Facility in Denver to create her latest work, Smoke and Mirrors. Premiered at this year’s SXSW, the powerful visualization showcased methane data and Big Oil advertisements since the first Earth Day in 1970. Her ties to Colorado date back even further to childhood to a place No. 124 she frequented and that deeply shaping her — Libre, the world’s longest running sustainable artist “commune” founded and built by legendary sculptor, Linda Fleming. Filmmaker, author and artist Aaron also has roots running through the Mile High City. His grandmother was connected to the Daniels & Fisher Tower when it still operated Denver’s then crown-jewel department store, Mary-D&F. A full-circle moment for him with Solar Signs’ projection install with Night Lights Denver lighting up the 325foot tower during the month of April. I had a chance to catch up with Aaron before he made his way to Denver to chat about his collaborative art process with both Beatie and nature. HOW DID THE IDEA OF SOLAR SIGNS COME INTO BEING? We had been wanting to collaborate on a creative project for some time, but hadn’t found the opportunity until this wonderful invitation came from Understudy and the Denver Theatre District. We wanted to combine two distinct disciplines that are close to our hearts. For Beatie, the crisis around climate has always been front and center, while my background in street art and visual dissent has formed the foundation of my work. We found that the meeting point between both practices came around public interventions and the idea of shadow graffiti kind of ticked all the boxes for us. ׉ 7cassandra://okkEMjSahT0cNE4qam7YT7c4aRrEdD52s58MtrA5gQ8&`f PTQ׉EeWHAT’S THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THE MINIMAL MATERIALS YOU USED FOR YOUR SHADOW POETRY? Graffiti is inherently simple when it comes to language, so we wanted the work to reflect that. It was also important that we used the sun as our primary activator. We didn’t want to confuse the concept by adding too much complexity, so a minimalist approach made the most sense to us. HOW WAS YOUR EXPERIENCE WORKING WITH THE SUN AND NATURE’S OWN TIMESCALE? DID IT INFLUENCE THE WAY YOUR ART TURNED OUT? POSE ANY CHALLENGES? DID YOU LEARN ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR OWN RELATIONSHIP TO TIME AND WHAT YOU CAN OR CANNOT SEE OR CONTROL AS AN ARTIST AND HUMAN ON THIS PLANET? This is a wonderful question. Working with the sun’s rays was actually incredibly challenging! When we first came up with the concept for Solar Signs, we thought it would be so simple, but only after we got out in the field and started trying to execute these pieces did we realize how unpredictable nature actually is! In some cases we had to re-execute the video components multiple times to get it right. Clouds, rain, faulty letters and wrong angles all came into play. We learned a lot, but at times it really made us long for traditional art supplies. PART OF YOUR APRIL TAKEOVER IS YOUR PARTNERSHIP WITH NIGHT LIGHTS DENVER TO CREATE A LIGHT PROJECTION ART INSTALLATION OF SOLAR SIGNS ON THE CITY’S ICONIC DANIELS & FISHER TOWER. WORD IS YOUR GRANDMOTHER USED TO WORK IN THIS CLOCKTOWER. CAN YOU TELL US MORE ABOUT THAT? Yes. My family has roots in Denver and my grandmother worked at Daniels and 7 SUN/RAIN COMBINED PRINTS AS EVIDENCE OF MOLD PHOTOS BY CHRISTOPHER CHANG ׉ 7cassandra://kSUGCpHymwuuvaoebOV2_eTDh_NBjhI-TE8HvMg8X4E,`f PTQf PTQ߁בCטu׉׉ 7cassandra://NDTIoRfjXRtKq4lVa2dYp2oczSpBoCFN_xmQ71nbPq8`׉ 7cassandra://A4eLhJQi2wc-Qkl86FZo-Lsq77QOtTPQcCPID_s6xW0s`r׉ 7cassandra://JlUblAYy5kAsdOR08xKzpgSrnDuUTydy3IhDezHORYI%`f PTQטu׉׉ 7cassandra://9Hc-lIIrQy0u6etSmeFALSeGMrLs-6wnnVP4Vlhu774`׉ 7cassandra://DvQedXhMieDf6ENnKrxdV_Ixx5_HR2trOKFN-jphduAhy`r׉ 7cassandra://w31WepvOjDmdrjOxTf6SShrcLUaev4i07WhlNLUqL_M"`f PTQנf PTQ́V 9ׁHhttp://AARONROSE.COׁ ׁ Јנf PTQi 9ׁHhttp://BEATIEWOLFE.COMׁ ׁ Јנf PTQXd9ׁHhttp://SOLARSIGNS.ARׁ ׁ Ј׉E5Fisher. She was a comptometer operator, which was a precursor to an adding machine or calculator. When the store had sales they would bring it up to her and she would do the accounting. I’ve heard that it was a really beautiful store back in the day. ALL OF BEATIE’S CREATIONS AND COLLABORATIONS IN PARTICULAR INTERTWINE THE POWER OF ART AND SCIENCE TO AMPLIFY THE URGENCY OF THE CLIMATE CRISIS AND CURRENT STATE OF OUR PLANET, DUALLY CREATING AN OPPORTUNITY FOR HANDS-ON ACTIONABLE EDUCATION FOR PARTICIPANTS. PART OF SOLAR SIGNS IS THE CONTEMPLATION OF URBAN HEAT ISLANDS EXACERBATED BY THE CLIMATE CRISIS. CAN YOU EXPAND ON THIS AND WHY THIS IS AN IMPORTANT ISSUE FOR BOTH OF YOU? We are interested in both the healing aspects and destructive qualities of the sun. Nature is inherently volatile and we found that an interesting aspect to meditate on. In many ways, the climate crisis is a perfect example of this coming to fruition. Solar Signs invites us to re-imagine the ways we view and interact with the environment. FOR THOSE OF US SPECIFICALLY LIVING IN METROPOLITAN CITIES, WHAT CAN WE DO TO HELP COMBAT THIS ISSUE? Awareness is key. There are of course things we can do individually to create a more healthy planet for our children, but sometimes just looking at nature through a different lens can be the first step. We are not proposing solutions, but rather creating a glitch in our awareness so that we can understand the climate as a tangible thing that informs almost all aspects of our lives. IN RELATION TO MINIMALIST ART MATERIALS USED FOR YOUR SHADOW POETRY IN SOLAR SIGNS, YOUR LATEST NEW YORK TIMES FEATURED BOOK, BLACKOUT POEMS, IS A COLLECTION OF OVER 100 POEMS YOU WROTE IN THE ’90S ON COCKTAIL NAPKINS AND INSIDE MATCHBOXES, ON SHOPPING BAGS AND SCRAP PAPER AND IN POCKET NOTEBOOKS. HOW DOES IT FEEL TO No. 124 ׉ 7cassandra://JlUblAYy5kAsdOR08xKzpgSrnDuUTydy3IhDezHORYI%`f PTQ׉EHAVE CREATED A VESSEL TO HOLD ALL OF THESE PIECES TOGETHER THAT WERE SITTING IN BINS AND STORAGE UNITS FOR DECADES? AND WHAT DO YOU HOPE READERS TAKE AWAY FROM IT? This was a project I started during the pandemic as, like many of us, I had too much time on my hands. As I began transcribing the poems I was horribly embarrassed by them, but as I went on I began to understand that there was a unique honesty in the words. Most poets don’t publish their work until they’ve reached a mature age and I felt that reading the work of a 19-year-old might be beneficial, particularly to young people. BLACKOUT POEMS IS ALSO A PRECURSOR TO A MEMOIR YOU’RE CURRENTLY PENNING WITH AN END-OF-YEAR RELEASE DATE WITH HAT & BEARD PRESS AGAIN. CAN YOU GIVE US A TEASER OF WHAT WILL BE INSIDE ITS PAGES? The memoir is called Cosmic Poker and I’m looking at it as sort of a self-help book. Of course, it tells the story of my life, but it’s configured through the lens of the trials and tribulations of a struggling artist. I’ve found that there aren’t enough resources for young, creative people to understand how to build a life and career as an artist. Hopefully this book can help fill that gap. WHAT DO YOU WISH PEOPLE WILL TAKE AWAY FROM YOUR TIME AND ART IN DENVER? We hope the greatest takeaway from the installation would be a shift in perspective. It would be wonderful if the viewers began to see evidence of Solar Signs all around them in their daily lives. For the reasons of celebrating the complexity in nature and how beautiful that can be, while also understanding that the power lies with us to make sure we protect it for future generations. ANY OTHER PROJECTS COOKIN’ THIS YEAR? Just trying to finish this book!!! DON'T MISS THE DENVER TAKEOVER OF SOLAR SIGNS: UNDERSTUDY OPENING RECEPTION: APRIL 5, 6PM-9PM EXHIBITION: APRIL 5 - MAY 12 | THURS-SUN | 12PM-6PM 890 C 14TH STREET, DENVER ECLIPSE LIVE ART PROJECT *FREE SOLAR SIGNS ECLIPSE GLASSES* APRIL 8, 11PM-2PM | TIVOLI QUAD: AURARIA CAMPUS 1000 LARIMER STREET, DENVER NIGHT LIGHTS DENVER PROJECTION APRIL 1 - 30 | DANIELS & FISHER TOWER 1601 ARAPAHOE STREET, DENVER LEARN MORE AT SOLARSIGNS.ART SEE MORE FROM THESE TALENTED ARTISTS: BEATIEWOLFE.COM | IG: @BEATIEWOLFE AARONROSE.CO | IG: @AARONROSEOFFICIAL 9 SHADOW POETRY ׉ 7cassandra://w31WepvOjDmdrjOxTf6SShrcLUaev4i07WhlNLUqL_M"`f PTQf PTQבCטu׉׉ 7cassandra://aTZJpr9VNHDqfKxvGICxi_rUyGeR0mw3Q6WFWvhQqic`׉ 7cassandra://meB8TJKe1dH7rfe3zLFY0FJVndTBu9Lcf40tUtxxQpgͦ`r׉ 7cassandra://8N8etoqY8xqY8Zdj-LhL0EgT2tYdIT9-p31300XI7GU/`f PTQטu׉׉ 7cassandra://6HZmyD-9AFgdUI1YFF3jBMGXxIyzwIeL3cetm-lvsMU`׉ 7cassandra://V76L3YGFP00XjXmRfm3SwLAEDGolAS30SmXyuW7iVmk͂v`r׉ 7cassandra://_sqKoPl2AcMnlP4DZwEKmgZQDhGYZXvEeT6uvrsnYc0/R`f PTQנf PTQh 9ׁH*http://QUEENCITYSOUNDSANDART.WORDPRESS.COMׁ ׁ Ј׉EA.M. PLEASURE ASSASSINS – CLOUDY, BLACK, RED AND ALL OVER This Fort Collins-based band has been a BY TOM MURPHY DUST CITY OPERA – COLD HANDS EP This latest release from the Albuquerquebased band has a cinematic resonance in the lushly orchestrated music throughout its six tracks. Paul Hunton’s warmly expressive vocals, reminiscent of John Grant circa his tenure in The Czars, syncs perfectly with the imaginative arrangements to sketch vividly observed portraits of people, places and situations. Whether the moods are reflective (for instance on “Evelyn”) or darkly bombastic (as with concluding track “No One Is Saved”) there is an intimate quality to every song that invites the listener into a vital and poetic emotional experience. Dust City Opera’s genre bends and blends with an elegant creativity so that its moments in a baroque pop, Americana mode seem to fit in well with its more fiery rock passages and modern classical flourishes. Even more so than on the group’s preceding two albums, the production and layers of sonic depth on this EP is as fascinating as the songwriting. staple of the local scene for well over a decade and has been regularly offering up recordings of its music since 2011. There was a homespun and DIY lo-fi charm to its earliest albums and a style that was refreshingly out of step with prevailing sounds rooted in indiepop, emo and post-punk. And there is plenty of that scrappy spirit to these songs and a touch of sneer in Jared Meyer’s vocals. The production is at turns hazy, gritty and vivid, and sometimes all at once. The recordings and the songwriting also feed any hunger you might have for a time when bands were not aiming for a market. When they were writing noisy, fractured pop songs and mainly playing to friends at house shows and dive bars, knowing they were sharing in something unique and special not made to cater to mainstream acceptance. These songs are the refinement of that aesthetic as a fusion of lo-fi indie, dreamlike psychedelia and punk in that 2000s Siltbreeze Records mode. MACHU LINEA – INVASION Armando Garibay brought on a dazzling FIRE MOTEL – THE WORLD AN OPERA Ilya Litoshik has always had an uncommon personal insight into himself and the world around him. The latest Fire Motel album was largely written, recorded and performed by the songwriter himself, with some vocal contributions from Alli Walz. This proves that his move from Denver to New York City has given Litoshik ample perspective and time to develop his concepts into a set of songs that creatively express and address the anxieties of modern life and some of its sources. But Litoshik is fortunately too much of a poet to offer obvious, face value observations, and too much of an authentic artist to abstract genuine fears and concerns. Songs like “Dot Coma” and “Fear of Death” on the surface seem to be very on the nose, but the lyrics are more about the experience of living through the moment and not merely an opinion on a subject. It is that human touch that renders these songs so deeply resonant in the tender spirit of their performance. Even on the fairly faithful cover of Robyn Hitchcock’s classic “Madonna of the Wasps,” Litoshik transforms into a poignant examination of the human condition. And with each song the songwriter offers a glimmer of hope in the little details of everyday life that point to the interconnectedness of our shared existence. No. 124 FOR MORE, VISIT QUEENCITYSOUNDSANDART.WORDPRESS.COM group of collaborators for this album including Michelle Rocqet formerly of The Milk Blossoms, Mezzzmer, KoKo LA of R A R E B Y R D $, Little Trips, FresaKill, Vedette, Briana JannYne, Machete Mouth, Shocker Mom and Spyderland. The songs would already be worth a listen for Garibay’s lushly entrancing production steeped in a downtempo R&B sound and deep house. But Garibay seems to have had in mind specific vocalists for the various tracks, letting each shine and direct the particular sonic flavors and moods of each song. The result is an album that feels like a string of great, late night dance club singles of vast stylistic variety with an undeniably sensuous quality that runs throughout the 12 tracks. ׉ 7cassandra://8N8etoqY8xqY8Zdj-LhL0EgT2tYdIT9-p31300XI7GU/`f PTQ׉E׉ 7cassandra://_sqKoPl2AcMnlP4DZwEKmgZQDhGYZXvEeT6uvrsnYc0/R`f PTQf PTQבCטu׉׉ 7cassandra://srPNShkAKRcHd1TCuzvmTEP2M0oEvb2FJJTabSaP2vM`׉ 7cassandra://WYtQXBmElVbvgTnQz5i7AEogeysZZpycSyfg6z1vtoḱ`r׉ 7cassandra://v1TKfgHhCkBUyOLOc1Cisn7KhYnXiXwPPRQIN-8-Gp4%d`f PTQטu׉׉ 7cassandra://GSDghuPGI8suEB5Lij0E2cHLPHY2M7kzrepvd9jZxiw`׉ 7cassandra://WnblH-xABLw-qYGriECkrUsm4THD-ZW1gaedpIVAgu0s`r׉ 7cassandra://_K96BAXbnFT-Zly2mgKrk2QH6Y_Je3sk5GvRVjfz9AM {`f PTQ׉ETHE DEVIL'S CHARIOT BY JOEL TAGERT “Turn off your fucking engine,” Mackey groaned. It was three in the morning, for Christ’s sake. What was the point of living in the boonies if there were still jack-offs next door running their car all night? He waited, bones rumbling, and finally cursed and got up. He went out to the living room and pulled aside the curtain to peer through the woods. Wet and foggy, like most nights this time of year in Washington. A red glow of tail lights seeped through the trees from the direction of the road. He swore again and went to put on his clothes. Before opening the door he grabbed the big flashlight from its drawer, comforted by the weight in his hand. He clicked it on, walked down the driveway and saw that the offending vehicle wasn’t at his neighbors’ at all, but was parked on the far side of the road ten yards down and to the left. The car was a hulking beast, a black Dodge Challenger from the early 1970s that must be someone’s project car, paint corroded, chrome pitted. “Hello?” he called out, but no one answered. He lifted the flashlight higher and saw no one inside. He turned the light from side to side, saw no one nearby, either. He came closer. The driver’s side window had been smashed out and the rear view mirror on that side was missing as well. Long scratches gleamed along the door and body. He scanned the woods with the light, disconcerted. The interior of the car was none too clean, the passenger side littered with food wrappers, paper bags, cans, bits of plastic. A can sat in the cup holder. Whoever owned it, they were no neatnik. Wary of the glass, he opened the door, leaned in and twisted the key to off. Silence dropped like a lead blanket onto the woods. He stepped out and stood frowning at the vehicle. At first glance he’d thought it was a Challenger, but he was a mechanic and he knew cars No. 124 pretty well. Something about this one, an accumulation of details, made him stare. The weird dorsal ridge on the hood, the shape of the dash, the green glow of the dials, were all just a little off. “Custom job,” he muttered. Waffling, still expecting the car’s owner to show up, he circled around until he stood at the trunk and turned the light onto the emblem. In looping italics, the silver letters read: Chariot V/A. And centered between the tail lights was the make: DODJ. There was no license plate. He squatted, reached out and lightly touched the letters. What was crazy was that the E wasn’t missing, or at least, it hadn’t been broken off. The other characters were perfectly centered. They were meant to read that way. Meant to read DODJ. Cast that way at the factory, for a model that never existed. “Go back to bed,” he told himself. But goddamn if he wasn’t curious. His right hand fluttered on his jeans nervously. This could be a crime scene, for all he knew. And the owner could show up any second, seriously pissed to find someone messing with his ride. Probably would. On the other hand … he had to take a look, right? Had to. He searched for the hood release, found it to the right of the steering wheel. A minute of fumbling with the latch, and then he turned the flashlight on the engine and gaped. He could identify nearly nothing in it. In place of the engine block there was a kind of circular hub, six cylinders radiating outward like the spokes of a wheel. Its surface had an iridescent sheen, blue and green dominating. There were no belts, not one. A series of small baffles, what he thought might be air intakes, were arranged around the hub. There was more wiring than he was used to, a lot more. Even the screws he saw were atypical, a star-shaped head predominating. ׉ 7cassandra://v1TKfgHhCkBUyOLOc1Cisn7KhYnXiXwPPRQIN-8-Gp4%d`f PTQ׉E “Project car,” he muttered. “Science experiment.” Before he thought too much about it, he turned and opened the driver’s side door. He had to see this thing running. “Stock,” a deep voice called. His head whipped around. The speaker fell to hands and knees. “Stock. Hell me.” No, no: Stop. Help me. The guy was clearly hurt. He wore a black studded leather jacket, black shirt and black jeans. He was pressing one hand to his hairless head and bright blood was streaming freely between his fingers. As Mackey looked on he fell to his side, unconscious. For a second Mackey debated turning around, going back to the house and calling the cops. Or an ambulance. Then responsibility resumed its course and he lurched forward to help. He was about to kneel when he saw the horns. They were about two inches long and projected from high on the forehead. Some kind of costume. Glued to the skin. Or shit, I don’t know, one of those body-altering freakazoids. But he didn’t believe it. There was something about the guy’s bone structure that insisted to Mackey’s gut that this was the way he was made. Then there were the pointed ears. Shocked, he stood back up. His eyes drifted back along the road and into the wood, following the trail of disturbed leaves back the way the man — the driver, he assumed — had come. Slowly he followed it, down the ditch and back up again, just off the road. It wasn’t far before he found it. His first thought was a giant bat, or several giant bats, but really giant. One torn wing must have been twelve, fifteen feet long. Making its total wingspan twenty-five or thirty feet. But there were too many wings, far too many, and they connected to a tentacled octopus-thing the size of a small bear. It was hard to make out what its face had looked like, because its head, such as it was, had been smashed to a gooey purple mess with a tire iron left at the scene. Mackey turned, striding on wooden legs, feeling himself in a nightmare, but nightmare or not he decided he didn’t need anything so much as to get the fuck out of here. When he got to the road the driver, the fucking devil-man, was trying to get to his feet again. He turned his head toward Mackey and looked at the mechanic with eyes orange as torches. “Help me,” he said, enunciating each word clearly, though his accent was thick as tar. “I’m going to get help,” Mackey said. “Stay and die,” said the driver. “They’re coming.” He pointed south along the road and Mackey saw an orange light there, long before the dawn. A fire, most likely. But there was a low noise, as well, like a great flock of cawing birds. The driver came to one knee, then with great effort to both feet. “What’s coming?” Mackey said. “More of those things?” The driver nodded, orange eyes fixed on the Chariot, taking slow and careful steps toward the car. One of his arms looked to be broken and his jacket was shredded at the right waist. “Fuck me,” Mackey said. “But — fuck, man, what are you saying? Where are they coming from? What do they want? I mean, where are you from?” “No time.” The driver’s side door was still open and the devil clutched the frame as he fell heavily into the seat, groaning in pain. “Where are you going?” “World after world,” the devil said, and closed the door. He glared balefully at Mackey and tilted his head toward the passenger seat. “Last chance. Ride or die.” “Fuck!” Mackey said, and got in the car. 13 ׉ 7cassandra://_K96BAXbnFT-Zly2mgKrk2QH6Y_Je3sk5GvRVjfz9AM {`f PTQf PTQבCטu׉׉ 7cassandra://ujKd_A4DZcuNc9MdEikyIKjy0mF6T7S_bIDJKUPWYOA`׉ 7cassandra://Yh80w9gEZ8s4-sXFu6aQxM9DxFIx4asphceh9NeC9s0̓`r׉ 7cassandra://TGc80kmb5shKn2nyG0GmoerPuMt8msrzpUQmkqnLeRQ&T`f PTQ!טu׉׉ 7cassandra://3YONBI-7mXr68sT3tPa8Nk-0kD9a5sxdk-9jVYTmr0Ev`׉ 7cassandra://VknDmJLXcXaXZnZy0rTA2y0hdBpRykGYW8UK_6VSmOkO'`r׉ 7cassandra://wxzB1_zeaHvEnlaBd3jGhbTmkyOHd9OB1KNiOHHHC44`f PTQ"׉EBy Hana Zittel Impossible People: A Completely Average Recovery Story by Julia Wertz (2023) Addiction and recovery are often portrayed as a relentless battle back to normalcy, a straight path from the absolute ruin caused by substance use leading to the grueling climb to recovery, one which is forever shrouded with the possibility of relapse. In Julia Wertz’s newest graphic memoir, the slip into addiction was a gradual slide. Masking and managing depression and anxiety with alcohol led to Wertz drinking daily, watching the clock wind down to 5 p.m. to prove to herself it wasn’t a problem, then drinking bottles of wine just to fall asleep. She hid her drinking, visiting different liquor stores or hiding that she was buying so much alcohol by insinuating it was for a party. As a cartoonist who mostly worked from home, her drinking habits were easily concealed from friends and family. But through medical visits and frank conversations with her brother, also recovering from addiction, Wertz began to address her alcohol misuse. When Wertz decided to move towards recovery, she tried a range of methods, checking into a 21-day rehab, therapy and meetings. She struggled through expressing her emotions and challenges with friends and family, but what she found through trial and error, setbacks and successes, was there was not a silver bullet to cure her alcohol dependency. Instead, a mixture of support, meetings and adventures allowed her to slowly find her way back to herself. From leaning into her love of urban exploring to learning comfortable methods of socializing, Wertz moves toward selfacceptance while capturing all of the bumps and setbacks of recovery frameby-frame in her characteristic cleanline drawings. Wertz’s journey in Impossible People, like so many of her intensely relatable graphic memoirs, is one of the every day, of the relationships that sustain us and the ones that fall apart, all while moving through the mundane motions of life. This graphic memoir is underscored with a story of addition, but it is so deeply a story about continuing to grow up in your 30s, when friendships, relationships, work and life seem to settle in different directions and reality doesn’t always match what you imagined. Impossible People marks another raw, silly and heartfelt peek into the world of Julia Wertz. Judas Goat by Gabrielle Bates Gabrielle Bates’ debut book is a shattering collection marked with rich language carrying themes of myth and religion, death and growth. Present throughout is the vivid, unique environment of the American South. Bates is able to paint the intensity of this region with careful words that illuminate each scene she creates. In Ice / she writes, “In pockets / of Alabama / it snows / in spring. / A man plants / a cherry tree / the night / of his daughter’s / wedding / & the deer come / while he sleeps. What’s wild / will never / lie to you / if caught / like this: / a doe, staring, / sapling limbs / half-ground / into splinter-spittle / behind her / inky lips.” The poems in Judas Goat feel at times holy and otherworldly as she leans on dark biblical themes and fits them to our times. In the title poem, Judas Goat, the goat leads the unknowing sheep to slaughter day after day. “We, of our ends, are perhaps all this oblivious: one goat / trained to live with the sheep, neck-bell jingling / in and out of the slaughterhouse. To the goat, / the shackling pen is no more than another human / room …” Her poems capture the beauty and violence of womanhood, complexity of the human experience and, trickled throughout the collection, the ubiquitous awareness of the inevitability of death. Judas Goat is deeply emotional, and carries unforgettable passages marking a riveting debut collection from Gabrielle Bates. No. 124 ׉ 7cassandra://TGc80kmb5shKn2nyG0GmoerPuMt8msrzpUQmkqnLeRQ&T`f PTQ׉EPHOTO COURTESY OF AARON ROSE ׉ 7cassandra://wxzB1_zeaHvEnlaBd3jGhbTmkyOHd9OB1KNiOHHHC44`f PTQf PTQבCטu׉׉ 7cassandra://lwdAweyDjBXVqnbIgYEgTHIlfSbhVUYq_D0e4FFCISA`׉ 7cassandra://LOR895SdssoVBJDKvyzdadi3tdjTWqkMvyIJ3I3O8egrR`r׉ 7cassandra://tSpNTX1kwwRUFKmwOpoYtPU2jrqxhfZmWN7NRLn1gqM'`f PTQ$טu׉׉ 7cassandra://uAlWc09fjKZz5_5AK6zNCQ5wLxqCyTReWqD7xLA5JXc̤9ׁHhttp://COFESTIVALOFHORROR.COMׁ ׁ Јנf PTQ=#[~9ׁHhttp://HEXPUBLISHERS.COMׁ ׁ Ј׉E YOUR CELEBRITY CAMEO LINEUP IS UNPARALLELED IN THE WORLD OF HORROR WORLD INCLUDING JAMIE LEE CURTIS, GWAR, R.L. STINE, JEFFREY REDDICK, MATTHEW KIICHI HEAFY, DEVON SAWA, AND DEATHGASM. YOUR HEADS MUST BE EXPLODING! TELL US MORE ABOUT THEIR INVOLVEMENT. SGJ: That was Josh’s magic, reeling all these people in. But then, once we could include them, the trick quickly became how to do it respectfully, and for the most fun? They’re their own people, I mean, who say and do their own things. Incorporating that into a fast-moving story, without making their parts feel like we’re pumping the brakes, slowing down to look at the celebrities, that was definitely a challenge. JV: Yeah, it’s surreal for me. I keep pinching myself. It’s one thing to create a parody of a celebrity, but our aim was to involve the real individuals themselves, making it authentic. We didn’t want to just parody them; we wanted it to genuinely feel like them. Fortunately, everyone who has appeared has been incredibly generous and supportive of the project. We feel very fortunate in that regard. HOW DID YOU GO ABOUT DEVELOPING THEIR CHARACTERS? WAS ANYONE PERSONALLY INVOLVED? OR DID YOU HAVE FULL CREATIVE FREEDOM? SGJ: They had and have approval at all levels, but the story was us. JV: After pitching our concepts to everyone involved and receiving their initial okay, we proceeded to put it all on paper. Their final approval was crucial, and although there were a few minor adjustments needed along the way, everyone was incredibly accommodating and supportive throughout the process. Many of them were thrilled just to be featured in a comic. No. 124 JAIME LEE CURTIS IS BEST KNOWN FOR CHEATING DEATH BY PSYCHOPATH MICHAEL MYERS (HALLOWEEN) AND ALSO HER REALLIFE CHARITABLE SPIRIT. WHAT’S SPECIAL ABOUT HER PARTNERSHIP WITH TRUE BELIEVERS? SGJ: She’s, by far, the most iconic final girl of them all. So, in a story that’s a slasher, getting to include her gives things both a different weight and, at the same time, some unexpected levity. JV: What isn’t special about a partnership with Jamie Lee Curtis? Haha. I mean, we get to collaborate with a legend! But on a serious note, we’re honored to work alongside her charity, My Hand In Yours. For those who purchase the limited edition Jamie Lee variant cover of TRUE BELIEVERS Issue 1 (as seen on the Back Cover of this issue of Birdy), 100 percent of the proceeds will go towards benefiting critically ill children at the Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles. CAN YOU GIVE US A TASTE OF MATT HEAFY’S LIMITED EDITION EXCLUSIVE SCORE HE CREATED FOR THE NEW ISSUE? JV: Matt’s score is truly remarkable! Trivium’s heavy metal sound is well-known, but with the TRUE BELIEVERS score, Matt is venturing into new territory. While there are still evident metal influences, he’s skillfully incorporated synth and movie score elements, resulting in a captivating and unexpected sound. It’s quite a departure from what you might anticipate from Matt, and it’s incredibly impressive. Personally, I’m getting strong John Carpenter vibes, which feels fitting considering the connection to Jamie Lee Curtis. WHAT OTHER CAMPAIGN REWARDS ARE YOU EXCITED ABOUT? AND ANYTHING OF PARTICULAR SIGNIFICANCE TO SPOTLIGHT FOR ׉ 7cassandra://tZlwEkbFyuAgMP148PPgsL1Uw26ZXB_5B53JJmn8zVw)`f PTQ׉E OMATT HEAFY'S PERSONAL SIGNED LES PAUL GUITAR SIGNED GWAR SKATEDECK VINYL KILLR™MASK + PROP SHEARS RETURNING BACKERS OF THE LAST CAMPAIGN? JV: We’ve got an array of incredible rewards for this campaign. From various variant covers featuring our esteemed celebrities [by artists Therrien, Skinner, Matt Maguire (GWAR), Luigi Scarcella (Half Sumo), and Matsuya] to the above-mentioned exclusive 30-minute original score by Matt Heafy, available in both blood-red saw-blade vinyl and cassette tape formats, there’s something for everyone. Additionally, fans can snag latex masks of characters from the comic crafted by Oktober Studios, an opportunity to be immortalized in Issue 3, signed memorabilia such as a skateboard deck and drumsticks from GWAR, and a [Les Paul] guitar played and signed by Matt Heafy himself. For collectors, we offer a 14-inch hand-painted prop of our slasher character’s iconic shears, also courtesy of Oktober Studios. And that’s just scratching the surface; we also have original artwork, VIP passes to COFOH, and much more awaiting our supporters! THOUGH AN ABSOLUTE GRUESOME SERIES, THERE ARE BLATANT THEMES OF COMEDY AND EVEN POSITIVITY AND HOPE IN THE NARRATIVE OF TRUE BELIEVERS. WHY DID YOU DECIDE TO INCORPORATE THESE ELEMENTS INTO SUCH A DARK COMIC? SGJ: The slasher, when it’s really working, makes a lot of good use out of the audience not knowing, at any given moment, if they’re going to laugh or scream. But to get that good use, you have to establish early on that laughter is acceptable — that it’s part of the game, here. In horror generally, and definitely in the slasher specifically, humor resets the horror, so it can climb again that screechy incline. Without those irregular resets though, without that pressure release valve, things quickly plateau either into unrelenting grimness or an unending shriek, neither of which have that updown variation story required to stay engaging. WHAT ARE YOU EACH PERSONALLY MOST STOKED ABOUT FOR THE RELEASE OF ISSUE 2? SGJ: Same thing as the first: spooking up the Colorado Festival of Horror. JV: The ultimate satisfaction comes from holding the final product in our hands. The process of piecing together these projects involves a tremendous amount of effort, but witnessing it all come together is truly gratifying. WHEN CAN WE EXPECT ISSUE 3? ANY TEASERS? JV: We should be able to share details about Issue 3 very soon. Stephen and I have been writing while Ben wraps up the artwork for Issue 2. Let me just say, Issue 3 is going to be seriously bonkers. And yes, expect even more cameos from some incredibly talented individuals. SUPPORT TRUE BELIEVERS AND INDEPENDENT ART ON KICKSTARTER. VISIT & FOLLOW HEX PUBLISHERS FOR MORE TRUE BELIEVERS NEWS: HEXPUBLISHERS.COM GET TIX TO THIS YEAR'S COLORADO FESTIVAL OF HORROR KICKING OFF IN SEPTEMBER ON FRIDAY THE 13TH: COFESTIVALOFHORROR.COM ׉ 7cassandra://wFvqwBoaw0wMI3eJjHoeP9I1mYVF8KRp2-Ow23CJZ9w$`f PTQf PTQבCטu׉׉ 7cassandra://EZJBn-twl2aCJpSQ14W5ykomoarg0aHMEmI9xi2Xiw8x`׉ 7cassandra://yQ-YTpLk_HCfbG-vSmanRea40OLGU18T-aQzxLN27PU_a`r׉ 7cassandra://08C7QpFiV6oyQ76hRJ4f9LOEb-1oxHK9ZW_M76yboRM`f PTQ?טu׉׉ 7cassandra://cFT6bB2fYLVCQSeG9vn9gmK9n_KDQuIVR_osUabCC8AC`׉ 7cassandra://BygnEw16mh6mVKcz9Q938bzLOzGj7tw-GmGj7Vd6m44͝O`r׉ 7cassandra://fcMZuBVlIsY1YJG7-Igw3UziNqcV-ZQ78tom8eNSAxo1`f PTQ@נf PTQGT΁̼ 9ׁH!mailto:WEREWOLFRADARPOD@GMAIL.COMׁ ׁ Ј׉EThe Current BY ZAC DUNN Encapsulating the ocean’s motion Krill spilling into harbors Guarded by monolithic stone towers Driven skyward with roots of MAGMA Foothold upon the edge of the precipice So deep its boundless immensity only hungers To know more water and bones To nuzzle and rest upon the firmament Of decay and sublime KELVIN-like stasis Penetrating atoms to stand still As the UNIVERSE expands telescopically Removed 20,000 leagues of legendary Silence that reaches the pits of stomachs Churning in guts storming beaches As battlements volley hatred and ignorance The venom that spread all too Effortlessly upon the prick Systemically brokered to all the jokers Who sally forth speaking much too loud about NOTHING AT ALL Commanding the attention they seek screaming out One final SOS from the DEATH SUB That led them deeper and deeper To the place of stasis and entanglement Of greed, ambition, hubris to the mother and a will that knew Only its own curiosity so profoundly detached from the Magnitude of the endeavor Gilded in recycled carbon fiber splendor That we remember as the screams fade to silence and the Curtain slowly draws As the trawlers turn back to port and gaze upon NARWHALS for the first time Since even the saltiest can recall Their eyes briefly locking Only to slip back to the liquid that we Take so deeply for granted Yet will move mountains and seas of blood To spill (9:32 12/14/23) FOLLOW FOR MORE WORK: IG: @UZIEGO | TUMBLR: @WTFCRAIGSLISTNYC ׉ 7cassandra://08C7QpFiV6oyQ76hRJ4f9LOEb-1oxHK9ZW_M76yboRM`f PTQ׉EFLUKE DIBONA, NEW VIBES - @LUKE_D_ILL People with no functional understanding of the justice system outside of folksy wisdom they were once told by another middle schooler are liable to, at some point, tell you that possession is nine-tenths of the law. Slightly less likely will they then tell you that, according to the Catholic Church, possession is way, way up. Like national debt numbers of demonic entities spreading cases of terminal spirit disease (also a great record — look it up). Yes, that bastion of divine purity’s SEAL Team 6 for highly specialized ritual, The Exorcists — (not to be confused with my intramural goth soccer team) — have been facing down so many puissant Pazuzus that their very work-life balance is now being threatened by The Adversary. One poll of 120 enemies of Emily Rose uncovered the rather disturbing statistic that some were performing between 30 and 50 exorcisms a day. For comparison: A bartender working a weekend in any given metropolitan downtown may sell between 700 and 800 drinks in a night during a heavily antagonistic battle for their weary souls. But let’s assume the toll an exorcism takes is at least equal. Even though they’re not doing any sidework, the lazy fucks. Still quite a few. On top of that, they’re getting downright dangerous. In 2022, Father Giuseppe Bernardi — taking time off from carving marionettes that would one day become real boys — encountered a woman. Exhibiting remarkable hurdle skills, she leapt over a series of pews during a service to assault monks with both her fists and her words, insulting them in multiple languages in a violently demoniacal inversion of “Sticks and Stones.” Initially he sought psychology — in an ACT OF SCIENTIFIC BLASPHEMY — but ultimately determined that, in fact, the woman’s hysterics were the work of Satan’s servants and performed a nine-hour long exorcism. It would have been faster but, as everyone knows, exorcists are BOGO and his assistant was Neil Peart who insisted that hours three through six would be a holy drum solo. Now I know what you’re thinking. Neil Peart is dead. Not in the hearts of fans across the planet, friend. Next you might be wondering how, if an exorcism can take nine hours, are these raggedy-ass priests doing 50 in a day? For an answer to this query you need only the claims of the Pope’s Exorcist himself, Father Gabriele Amorth. In the words of Walt Whitman, “I contain multitudes,” and infernal goblins from Gehenna are those multitudes. In a 2000 interview, he purports to have kicked a cool 50,000 diabolical invaders from their fleshy homes. He also pointed out that many of these could take seconds and the boss fights might take hours. Exorcism is played by video game rules and Amorth was stomping hundreds of demons at a time. By May 2013, he’d high-scored the Vatican cabinet with 160,000 notches in the ol’ demon belt. Impressive. Merely a dent, however, in the number of devils still left for the demon-plagued cadre of padre to contend with. Eric Jacqmin — yet another journeyman in the field of (bad) dreams — claims there are “… billions of devils, and much evil.” Whether or not this portends the return of leather biker jackets or the 1989 Camaro IROC-Z 1LE is unknown, but either way things are looking up for ’80s heavy metal. In a recent interview Jacqmin stated that, after duking it out with the many spirits that were forcing a woman to urinate black while experiencing extreme stomach pains — two extremely obvious signs she needed medical help — he subdued Lucifer himself. But fear not — the good Father is nowhere near out of a job after taking an unmissed shot at the king. He maintains that Lucifer can be many places, tormenting thousands of people simultaneously with things like drugs and sex and a perfectly prepared al dente carbonara and returning all that time you put into watching Lost. So if you’ve been having a great time lately? Don’t bother the Church with it — they’re tired as Hell. HAVE QUESTIONS ABOUT THE PARANORMAL? SEND THEM TO: WEREWOLFRADARPOD@GMAIL.COM OR TWITTER: @WEREWOLFRADAR. 31 BY NATE BALDING ׉ 7cassandra://fcMZuBVlIsY1YJG7-Igw3UziNqcV-ZQ78tom8eNSAxo1`f PTQf PTQבCטu׉׉ 7cassandra://pC03_wIL6QjlizIMsM0K0fVRokVKTJLrFQaQScALBkIϠ`׉ 7cassandra://KNvCoEqFxIJBXNVdI_a3PIxDT_jgg10sZEg0eVyyuk0nl`r׉ 7cassandra://hxZyelEe2xhhL5yb8T7p_QIoZU5Ep7FbVq9euWsxH1A,`f PTQBטu׉׉ 7cassandra://6TqsK0dbIEcF3UD2cvt7O2147IUJkTI9MKsFa4rGN4g5`׉ 7cassandra://KxGjOMTxbtK9wFX8Bp9kgLyTB_gw-In1SBTHsFLJkFUh:`r׉ 7cassandra://LiYuGRcT-Mtx4h64EEcY-v1LXAN399Q8tn8gC8gNg-o%`f PTQC׉EFMARK MOTHERSBAUGH, LUCAS COWS, 1969; DECALS - BEST OF BIRDY ISSUE 016 ׉ 7cassandra://hxZyelEe2xhhL5yb8T7p_QIoZU5Ep7FbVq9euWsxH1A,`f PTQ׉E׉ 7cassandra://LiYuGRcT-Mtx4h64EEcY-v1LXAN399Q8tn8gC8gNg-o%`f PTQf PTQבCטu׉׉ 7cassandra://1Ha4CLf_D1jpfnSYkg-XZ69aqQubysW6A55eaTIuANE`׉ 7cassandra://RxknrvPmhT3mDcFwTGAB-bYii8qKo-qmDICWpK3jwuIs7`r׉ 7cassandra://8puXzPukWsIwFqGf0MruEyPbDKGC3PaVi9LfoZFqKZY'\`f PTQE׉E׉ 7cassandra://8puXzPukWsIwFqGf0MruEyPbDKGC3PaVi9LfoZFqKZY'\`f PTQ׈Ef PTQf PTQ,BIRDY ISSUE 124ePublished April 2024. Birdy Magazine is Denver's only magazine, available monthly in print or online.f ÂeRN9