׉?4ׁB! בCט  u׉׉	 7cassandra://Sl0Evugj5sidzSyl6sqK6A7ua2kgYmfe9-ubvxjSCLU `׉	 7cassandra://Cz2pPUeUeUVUfOl8MANTA8shSpY0t075Ho5K1qwIkloV=`r׉	 7cassandra://3cxcwgGC_UpSOj8SQK2uoJYgsDY-gIJSDhLUq1ndZuE` e/	\!#K׈Ee/	\!#K׉E׉	 7cassandra://3cxcwgGC_UpSOj8SQK2uoJYgsDY-gIJSDhLUq1ndZuE` e/	\!#Kȁe/	\!#KǁבCט   u׉׉	 7cassandra://7uG2gfpEnPQRaqcpntbQaBbv9p-OQJz6IWFSm60CEJY k`׉	 7cassandra://Zz-bt5joyfLcBUqIl6V36g1DLqJGPtLO1hbJF5MQSg4f`r׉	 7cassandra://_XG31IyLIqkVN8z3hM2HcrpABHO8HNLGD6hfiNjTU3E"` e/	\!#Kט  u׉׉	 7cassandra://VursKMT-niLe7bWlknbPYJFxu_yI6e2Xlu1WStQX7j0 `׉	 7cassandra://kXZ8FgObKakq-3nllHidmTDalWwsncRSNYoF9lVYWBIZ`r׉	 7cassandra://H1P5xmwmm--bZ8d5X92lqN4979aRBi9gh4W4rsVQIq8` e/	\!#Kנe/	\!#K "	9ׁH  http://BIRDYMAGAZINE.COM/CONTACTׁׁЈנe/	\!#K s̧	9ׁHhttp://BIRDYMAGAZINE.COM/SHOPׁׁЈנe/	\!#K F	9ׁH $http://BIRDYMAGAZINE.COM/SUBMISSIONSׁׁЈנe/	\!#K Wp
9ׁHhttp://BIRDY.MAׁׁЈנe/	\!#K Ij
9ׁHhttp://ERICJOYNER.COMׁׁЈ׉E׉	 7cassandra://_XG31IyLIqkVN8z3hM2HcrpABHO8HNLGD6hfiNjTU3E"` e/	\!#K׉EMATT MCCARTHY, JASON PURRHEES - @MRMATTMACCARTHY
ISSUE 122 | FEBRUARY 2024
MAJORA'S MASK: KRYSTI JOMÉI
Z MINUS ONE: JONNY DESTEFANO
GOGO YUBARI: JULIANNA BECKERT
MONO NO AWARE: KAYVAN S. T. KHALATBARI
KATANA: CRISTIN COLVIN
POLYSICS: MARK MOTHERSBAUGH
KIDDY LAND: MEGAN ARENSON
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FRANCIOSE, MICHAEL DEE, BRIAN POLK, HANA ZITTEL, PETER GLANTING,
CAITY KENNEDY, DAVE DANZARA, ERIK ROGERS, ZAC DUNN, TOM MURPHY,
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©2024 BIRDY MAGAZINE, EVEN MONKEYS FALL FROM TREES
1
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׉	 7cassandra://SSTdOvpenFz7sKgFwWXMEiCwUvGI7jFq3wDKAkxxX9A` e/	\!#K׉ETHE CURSE
OF BEING
A SMALL
BLACK DOG
BY RICARDO FERNANDEZ
My name is Harold and I’m a Miniature Werepoodle. I’m what you’d call a
B-list monster. No one is scared of a man who, by the light of the waxing
moon, turns into a black puffball. Really, the A-list monsters have it all.
Vampires, Frankenstein and actual Werewolves have the best powers,
the best transformation times and all the attention. Who says, “Don’t
go outside! It’s a waxing moon tonight and the Mini Weredogs are out,”
without laughing?
I’m actually a fourth generation Werepoodle. My great grandfather
really screwed over a gypsy. She cursed my family so hard that we all turn
into little black dogs.
My transformative condition has affected all areas of my life. I especially
haven’t had the greatest success in dating.
The last time I turned into my toy breed self in front of a woman was
a complete fiasco. We were drinking some wine and, apparently, my
judgment must have become impaired because I opened the blinds at
her place and transformed. She laughed so hard she almost peed herself
and spent the rest of the night watching rom-coms, eating ice cream and
rubbing my belly. The next morning I woke up in my human form with a
pink bow in my hair. There was a note on the table that said she had a
great time and was glad I was her friend. I pissed on her rug before I let
myself out.
Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of people out there who hate all
monsters. Even the poodle breed. Enough to kill them. Still, the A-list
monsters even have the monopoly on cool ways to die. I mean, people
have spent centuries trying all different methods to murder them. A few
years ago I actually ran into Van Helsing in a bar. As he was taking a sip
from his beer, I asked him if he had ever killed one of my kind, and do you
know what that pompous jerk did? He spit his beer all over me and said,
“Werepoodle?! Boy, you don’t need to kill them! They die from shame!”
My uncle Morty spent the greater part of two decades trying to find
out what actually kills us. He ate wolfsbane. Nothing. Another time he
melted down my grandmother’s silver, made bullets and shot all of us
on Christmas. Nothing. One time he waited until he transformed and ate
five pounds of chocolate. We thought he was on to something, but now
he just has diabetes. I won’t deny that more than once I have, as a mini
dog, jumped in front of a car. Hurts like hell, but no death.
I’ve often wondered what would happen if I ever bit anyone while in
my dog form. Could I possibly be able to share my curse with others? I
mainly think about this at work. I constantly imagine sinking my tiny
doggy teeth into my boss’ ankle and making him into a Werepoodle.
In fact, more than once I’ve camped outside his luxury townhouse and
waited for him to take out the trash. I bit that fat ass right on the Achilles
tendon and held on for dear life. He shouted and kicked up his legs. He
even stepped on me a couple of times, but I wouldn’t let go! I thought
I was in the clear until his wife came out in her bathrobe and started to
beat me with a bat.
I woke up in a cage at the city pound the next morning, naked as the
day I was born, to the screams of a poor volunteer. It was like she had
never seen a naked man in a cage before! Well, things have quickly gone
downhill since then. I’m now at county jail awaiting trial facing charges of
Felonious Assault by a Transformative Monster with Intent to Infect. It’ll
be forty years if my boss changes into a little dog the next waxing moon.
No one is sure whether or not he will because this is the first time one of
my kind has actually bit anybody.
But on the plus side, I have an interview with Dateline in an hour. Top
that, Bigfoot!
BEST OF BIRDY ISSUE 002
3
׉	 7cassandra://GL-pbH56oTBuQd9cXiZq0YZZ6Ylz-TjueHPa3gnkiDg&+` e/	\!#Ḱe/	\!#KˁבCט   u׉׉	 7cassandra://c2LMoUGDnMu3wMY_2D7HhWZUvY62FxLszeO7mrheJZ8  `׉	 7cassandra://5aERUQ801HvSHcxmEthg5eVEirmQ85vuw5tPXmto7iEr`r׉	 7cassandra://dZOgGVn6X46h2OjUTxHNmHaZk03af6INKqnh5B4bLnk*` e/	\!#Kט  u׉׉	 7cassandra://yjbOJQkEzGbFBoUeUSisOMXu5NY6GM6hcWwoFT4Y7so `׉	 7cassandra://h2-g561emKDiScc1HcsLiARyOCIqSVC1mQFs99N_UOQmS`r׉	 7cassandra://od4J9ToJy6IwEP0NJDRZHKGL068nSlm8C8cd_0nv2pM)` e/	\!#Kנe/	\!#L  
q9ׁHhttp://ROBGINSBERG.COMׁׁЈ׉E׉	 7cassandra://dZOgGVn6X46h2OjUTxHNmHaZk03af6INKqnh5B4bLnk*` e/	\!#K׉E ~ROB GINSBERG (D.A.S.A.), FREEDOM OF CHOICE MUTANTS - ROBGINSBERG.COM
MARK MOTHERSBAUGH, FROM THE POSTCARD DIARIES (2018-2019)
׉	 7cassandra://od4J9ToJy6IwEP0NJDRZHKGL068nSlm8C8cd_0nv2pM)` e/	\!#K΁e/	\!#ḰבCט   u׉׉	 7cassandra://7daEovQoAQqGAgDmcGn_wB6243-LVT8irAzkwj6wIoo `׉	 7cassandra://vcjs0uczA5-oHqoWw96WDW9H9qZ-5fXz4CQrHTlwe9IO`r׉	 7cassandra://k99mC1XeotpzuSXYfOcK9df-ph6EaKrnmnmjT9jFvgwE` e0	\!#Lט  u׉׉	 7cassandra://_kGBODZWPzZiN2BHGx9hTVn8_92dcwP0tbrDXwImmy8 `׉	 7cassandra://TjF0hljnKfxVM4aF05TjBfws4UV6cGgZ4IAj_0CFQ6w}<`r׉	 7cassandra://-G_YlqQbm89qKAUu6iLSKqglgsJl5JNLujj2RT2DZ0k49` e0	\!#L׉E !PETER KORNOWSKI, NOWHERE TO TURN
׉	 7cassandra://k99mC1XeotpzuSXYfOcK9df-ph6EaKrnmnmjT9jFvgwE` e/	\!#K׉E׉	 7cassandra://-G_YlqQbm89qKAUu6iLSKqglgsJl5JNLujj2RT2DZ0k49` e/	\!#KЁe/	\!#KρבCט   u׉׉	 7cassandra://lT0kbmmnvciQh2da1jPOUfZ8d6BvZNzM_tn8DPAgqWI g`׉	 7cassandra://yTDosi8aCapaVePezNvkS43bH4wYE-DYVV_wTusW7gky]`r׉	 7cassandra://wAF62ympi7W2X1sysLaUrd1BnPHn85fbWi-aoPp2W1c&` e0	\!#Lט  u׉׉	 7cassandra://xLREqDHS7e_z0MoWEcpuPkPP8tU9u56E3tpit3HeJ2k V`׉	 7cassandra://OaxT6K1yrmhRjeSeeV7pmhQGow4zRJvOhjqvRkAesPo͂`r׉	 7cassandra://w9ieewUFSlA8TI8-TYaIyyyv3jev1Sc2e4htlgQcaaI#2` e0	\!#L׉ENo. 122
׉	 7cassandra://wAF62ympi7W2X1sysLaUrd1BnPHn85fbWi-aoPp2W1c&` e/	\!#K׉EwBY JOEL TAGERT
ART BY JASON WHITE
Zabbie couldn’t understand her sister.
She had been gone for three months for a foreign exchange program
in Australia. At the time she’d felt guilty about leaving when her family
was already so stressed with Lyn’s care, but her mother had encouraged
her to go, and anyway the progress of the disease tended to be slow.
But in that time the slight slurring they’d all heard in the summer had
gotten worse — worse to where Zabbie kept having to ask Lyn to repeat
herself over dinner that first night, and still didn’t really know what
she’d said.
“I’m going to use the restroom,” she announced, shut the door and
spent fifteen minutes sobbing. She shouldn’t have gone. She was a
terrible sister. She could have, should have done more. She would do
more. Otherwise what was the use of being a witch?
That night, alone in her childhood bedroom, she went into her closet
and brought out her Box of Very Special Things. From the box she
withdrew the body of an old dried whiptail lizard. She had neglected
her coffee-table altar for a long time — there were months-old cups
and several magazines on top of it — but now she cleaned it off,
straightened the embroidered cloth, lit incense and candles, and placed
the lizard in a special brass plate inscribed with a pentagram. Finally,
she pulled off the tail of the lizard and set it in a separate dish, a teacup
with an interesting black glaze.
Preparations complete, she settled herself on the floor and closed her
eyes. She held the image of the lizard in her mind, focusing intently
on how she thought it would taste. She tried to imagine how a hungry
cat might enjoy it, how interesting the texture was, the meaty flavor
enhanced with age.
“Here kitty kitty,” she called softly. “I have a treat for you.”
And there: that old familiar feeling, something stirring, like small
claws pulling at her temples. Zabbie’s inward gaze deepened. Holding
that gaze, she saw the feline face of her familiar, the glowing red eyes,
the peculiar verdigris color of the demon’s sleek fur. Finally she heard
Baalephin’s voice, a rippling purr: What have you brought me?
“I’ve brought you a gift,” Zabbie murmured.
I want it!
Zabbie did not protest, but reached out for the lizard’s tail and
without looking, placed it in her mouth. It was difficult to eat — very
chewy — but finally she got it down.
Baalephin glowed with pleasure, the inward connection strengthening.
Delicious! But something’s missing. Where’s the rest?
“I have it here. But you have to do something for me.”
Name your desire.
Zabbie did, and her familiar agreed. The girl reached for the lizard’s body.
¤¤
“How are you feeling?” she asked Lyn the next morning, looking at
her sister intently. Where red-headed Zabbie wore loose, dark clothes
looted from a half-dozen thrift stores and consignment shops, her
blond sister had always liked expensive designer shit, and so far had
made only small concessions to the wheelchair. Today she wore a pale
cashmere sweater and brown pants with a velvety sheen.
“Much better, actually,” Lyn said, and the word actually was perfectly
enunciated. Zabbie smiled brightly, delighted. “Maybe I’ll go for a run
later,” she continued wryly.
“Maybe you will,” Zabbie said.
¤¤¤
For several days Lyn really did seem better. She said she was sleeping
well and their parents commented that her mood had improved. But
it didn’t last. By week’s end Zabbie’s attentive ear detected the slur
returning, a softening of the syllables.
This time she went to Crystal Cave and talked with Melani. “I need
something special,” she said. “Something my familiar will really go
crazy for.”
Melani nodded, the charms in her white hair bobbing. “I have just the
thing.”
Zabbie spooned half the hummingbird hearts out of the tiny jar they
came in and placed them in the brass offering dish. With one finger she
reached out and tasted the juices they stewed in. “Here kitty kitty. I
have a treat for you.”
Her temples tightened and a dull pain formed inside her head. The
feeling intensified, a sharp pain as of cat’s claws raking her skin, and
with that the demon was here again. What do you have?
Zabbie picked up the dish and choked down the three tiny hearts
there. Delectable! More!
“I have more. But you have to do something for me.”
What is your desire?
When she named it, she saw her familiar’s face change. Where before
she had envisioned a cat, now she saw a human face, the head bald, the
features sharp, and all the green of rainworn copper except for the demon’s
red eyes. You ask too much for such an offering. But I am generous.
¤¤¤¤
The next morning Lyn came to breakfast using her walker. “Look at
you!” Zabbie said, trying to sound cheerful despite her headache.
“I know, right? Ready for the dance floor.”
“That’s great.”
“You okay?”
“I’m great. Just a bit of hurty-head.”
9
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But nothing good could last. One day, two, three, with Lyn upright,
smiling, laughing; and on the fourth, back to the wheelchair, listless, head
bowed. Zabbie was crushed. What was the point of the bargain if it didn’t
last? On the other hand, the spells had worked. They did bring Lyn relief.
Once more into the breach, then. She had to wait two weeks for Melani
to obtain the body of a two-headed chick that had died shortly after it
was hatched. It cost her fifteen hundred dollars, money intended for
her living expenses when school started again. But she needed it. Lyn
needed it.
“Come to me, Baalephin,” she chanted. “I offer you gifts, I offer you
unusual flavors, I offer you sustenance.”
But at first Baalephin wouldn’t come. Two hours she sat there, making
magical gestures, lighting incense in different arrangements. Not until
she burned several feathers from the chick did she feel her temples
tighten — and tighten, and tighten. The demon’s claws were cutting
into her face, its teeth sinking into her forehead. A small cry of surprise
escaped her, but she fought it, tried to calm her mind, tried to relax her
features against the pain, still keeping her eyes tightly shut.
When she finally saw the visage of Baalephin, it was neither cat nor
human, but a verdigris crocodile, its grin all teeth, its eyes red and
greedy. What have you brought me?
Zabbie bit off one head of the chick. The feathers were more difficult
to swallow than she’d expected, small as they were.
What do you desire?
“I want my sister to be healed. Permanently.”
The crocodile Baalephin made a croaking sound that eventually she
realized was laughter. For this tiny bird? Waste my time and I will not
answer your call again.
“Can you do it, though?”
There is little outside my power. But the offering must be commensurate.
“What, then?”
Baalephin shifted its gaze, and she knew what the demon regarded:
Little Bit, the family dog, down in his donut-shaped dog bed in the
living room. The crocodile’s smile widened.
Zabbie was aghast, but slowly she stood and went downstairs. The
chihuahua licked her face when she picked him up — he was a notorious
face-licker — and in her bedroom was content to sit facing her, his
outsized eyes reflecting the candlelight.
Zabbie picked up her ceremonial knife, a crystal set in the hilt. She
bowed her head, praying, but the only face that came to her was
Baalephin’s, avid and reptilian. Give me the dog!
But she couldn’t do it. Crying, she let the knife fall from her fingers
and hugged the dog to her chest.
¤¤¤¤¤¤
The next day Lyn looked her sister over. “You look better,” she said.
“You’ve been looking pretty ragged the last couple weeks. Thought I
might have to do something drastic to cheer you up.” Zabbie laughed
until she cried.
No. 122
׉	 7cassandra://lKFEsrCqCx9OQjLTaxRa5PmpGiBkaSAs7VqgSS-IPbY"` e/	\!#K׉E 8GRAHAM FRANCIOSE, FORWARD, BACK, FORWARD, BACK, PRESENT
׉	 7cassandra://vy5qKBShTAPKxN39zjSp5Brq1SkCQFKOERPN5vhGyHU` e/	\!#Kԁe/	\!#KӁבCט   u׉׉	 7cassandra://NuXxKGIqncsklbtOR7Yzh0pFAXxS_MCmU-rKi_YWLo4 `׉	 7cassandra://BgH0xo3_3FqLinWfRV04XVlrWqpAj7akOPQ9YfNMFy4̓2`r׉	 7cassandra://5SHOSzHPJIyuiQSvsUz02HDS5mK56DF-8nN1QTVHEZ0,` e1	\!#Lט  u׉׉	 7cassandra://TH_erIYgKa2aa08SGAUne9c-CcJFIqyUdOvSUvqQ7Ow ͦ` ׉	 7cassandra://gRPhg5fHtktedQo8gAUn91KXGsnGkUCvczCoEVMy4Zsͳ` r׉	 7cassandra://50QzFxBjdqRttd77fgizH0XzMgfB4PGoTy-z7n97b8c)` e1	\!#L׉E MY EXISTENTIAL THERAPIST HERB AND I
DISCUSS THE RAMIFICATIONS OF EXISTING
IN THE MODERN WORKPLACE BY BRIAN POLK
No. 122
MICHAEL DEE, GREAT APE-BOT DILEMMA
׉	 7cassandra://5SHOSzHPJIyuiQSvsUz02HDS5mK56DF-8nN1QTVHEZ0,` e/	\!#K׉E “I think I pinpointed the reason I hate working,” I tell my Existential
Therapist Herb. “And it wasn’t immediately obvious. It really took some
soul-searching.”
“Is it because you realized you’re not the steward of your own time
when you have to adhere to a rigid schedule?” asks Herb. “Is it because
you don’t enjoy being subservient to arbitrary chains of command where
authority figures are granted power over you based on nothing more
than a resume and an interview? Or maybe you feel you’re wasting your
one and only opportunity to fully experience your own humanity every
time you ask a customer if you can help them?”
I shift in my seat as I mull over his counsel. “No, I don’t think it’s any of
those, really,” I say. “I think it has more to do with identity.”
“Ah yes,” he says. “You’re upset that the entirety of your creativity and
talents as a person are overlooked for your ability to provide a menial
service to any half-wit who enters your place of work.”
I smile. He’s thought about this before. “That is a part of it.”
Gathering my thoughts for a moment, I notice Herb staring at me
expectantly. His attention isn’t usually so rapt during our meetings.
He’s also not ordinarily so conversant. Most of the time, he works on
crossword puzzles or ponders his own place in the universe (I assume)
while I blather on endlessly.
“Are you back on caffeine or something?” I ask him. “Usually you’re not
so interested …”
“Don’t lose your concentration,” he snaps back. “Stay dialed into this.”
“Okay, so here’s the thing: I don’t like the person I have to be when I’m
at work. I have this totally different personality, and I hate that part of
me. It’s like that song, ‘Bittersweet Symphony.’ ‘I’m a million different
people …’”
“I don’t think I’ve heard that song,” he says.
This bit of information shocks me. I berate him for having never heard
of it — which is ironic, since I’m unfamiliar with the entirety of Top 40
music these days. (Do they even call it “Top 40” anymore?) He asks
which band wrote the song, and my mind draws a blank. I start to google
it on my phone, but he tells me once again to stay dialed in.
“Oh right,” I say. “Think about this: if I spoke to my romantic partner
the way my boss expects me to speak to him, my lover would lose all
respect for me. No one — aside from authority figures, I guess — likes to
be grovelled to. I’m pretty sure Ferris Bueller said something like, ‘You
can’t respect someone who kisses your ass. It just doesn’t work.’”
“True,” says Herb. “But you are right to make an exception for authority
figures. I think that’s why they seek positions of authority, because they
do enjoy being grovelled to.”
“Sure,” I say. “But let’s stay dialed in, shall we?”
Herb smirks and nods.
“So, I have to put on this show for everyone at my place of work — my
boss, my coworkers, the customers. I have to perform. I have to act. And
it’s not a role that I have any respect for. If I were a professional actor and
that part came up, I wouldn’t even audition for it. I would tell my agent to
hold out for something — anything — that’s better than that.”
“So you find putting on a nametag, forcing yourself to smile, and
suppressing each and every genuine expression of your personality to be
dehumanizing?” Herb wonders.
I nod.
“That’s not really that profound,” he says. “I thought maybe it was
one of the aspects I mentioned — the rigid schedule, forced deference to
arbitrary authority, or the demeaning nature of customer service.”
“It’s probably those things too,” I tell him. “But it’s mostly compromising
my identity by pretending to be someone else. And that’s the other side
of this coin: if I decide not to do the job anymore, they’re just going to
replace me, and everyone would forget I worked there. I’m an easily
replaceable cog. So I’m sacrificing my very concept of ‘self’ for nothing.”
Herb has a look of concentration on his face, and as he opens his mouth
to speak, I interrupt him.
“Think about this: if I don’t write a song or a book or an article or a
haiku, then that piece of art — that expression of my true ‘self’ — would
not exist,” I say as I sit on the edge of the couch. “But if I don’t do my job,
someone else will just do it. Either my coworkers will pick up my slack, or
they’ll fire me and hire someone new — and that will be it. The work will
still get done whether I have anything to do with it or not. So my job —
the role that I perform the majority of my waking hours — has absolutely
nothing to do with me. It existed before I was there and it will exist when
I’m gone.”
“That’s kind of depressing,” says Herb. “I suppose when I retire,
someone will just take over my job.”
“It’s true.”
“You know the reason I hate working?”
I shake my head.
“Patients like you who remind me everything I do is pointless,” he
admits.
“Dude,” I say, “you’re an existential therapist. You would think you’d be
used to it by now.”
“Well yeah, but let me ask you this,” he says. “How are you going to
maintain morale at your job when all you do is think about how much
you don’t like being the person you have to be in order to earn your
paycheck? I mean, sure, I get that working is the worst part of most
people’s lives, but you have to do it, don’t you? So what do you get out
of the rumination? Why formulate worldviews that make the worst part
of your life even worse? Wouldn’t it behoove you to spend that mental
fortitude imagining ways your job benefits you, or ways you could make
it better? What’s the point of hating a life that you have to keep on
living?”
“What’s the point of hating a life I have to keep on living?” I say slowly
as I really contemplate each word. My brow furrows. “Um … Hmm …” It’s
the first time I’ve ever been left speechless in this office. I think about it
for several moments. “I suppose there is no point to doing that.”
“There you go,” he says.
“Yeah, but I feel like I’m giving up if I don’t keep up the negativity, or
something. Like I’m some kind of phony if I didn’t act miserable at work.”
“Well that’s ridiculous,” he responds. “Look, I’m not saying you
shouldn’t keep up the fight. Go ahead and march for the six hour work
day. Vote for people who promise a guaranteed basic income. Throw
molotov cocktails in the windows of capitalists for all I care. You can keep
doing all of that and still find a way to not be miserable at work.”
“I suppose …”
“So?” he says after another considerable silence.
“So what?” I ask.
“So what are you going to do?”
I don’t feel like answering that question, because I don’t like it when I’m
wrong about things. So I think of ways to change the subject. I look at the
clock in anticipation of our appointment nearing its end, and I figure it’s
close enough. “Time’s up,” I say.
He smiles and says, “It most certainly is, isn’t it?”
13
׉	 7cassandra://50QzFxBjdqRttd77fgizH0XzMgfB4PGoTy-z7n97b8c)` e/	\!#Kցe/	\!#KՁבCט   u׉׉	 7cassandra://rgoH7oHyNi_e4PKvyum2y8BS_n7JMO4QSgyXm0-1CDk `׉	 7cassandra://QGJpzwdG9j4hYIyOUNbgqQFzYsm2OD5-rBbhGchKVJM͍u`r׉	 7cassandra://iG_vmjJBHweomFuX_fwe1NbxgQ__bbGC4YEvD4NRdDo,t` e3	\!#Lט  u׉׉	 7cassandra://BWCWx1KhzIaSgGLIyHuf4xVkBIybRSM7PBNYxcZtr1s `׉	 7cassandra://VAHve8CgnGqELOdYpHihhbFn64Xa-WB8dAApVaN-s3I͋`r׉	 7cassandra://06KMUFlP8d8STVKlq856SIezQm2xjQdJudSAB6ihvx8/)` e5	\!#L׉EWHAT WE FED TO THE MANTICORE BY TALIA LAKSHMI
KOLLURI (2022)
Talia Lakshmi Kolluri’s 2022 debut short story collection
captures the fantastical inner lives of wild creatures across
the globe. Crafted in the form of fables, these stories grant
all animals inner thoughts and lives, enabling them to interact
across species with full language. In the title story, a group
of tigers living among mangroves face the reality of dwindling
food when a mythical manticore stumbles upon their territory.
Despite their desperation, the tigers have never stooped low
enough to prey on the people of the local village, until
the manticore starts stalking and devouring locals, while
attempting to lure the tigers into joining.
In Someone Must Watch Over The Dead, a young vulture strives
to fulfill its ancestral duty of devouring the dead in order
to honor them. “It is said and also it is known by almost
everyone that there are some among us that can taste the life
that was lived the closer they get to the bone.” The young
vulture soon becomes overwhelmed with an intensifying task as
a disease strikes a herd of antelope, leaving more death than
it can consume.
Strung together with the currents of the natural world and
the intricate complexity of wild creatures, What We Fed to
the Manticore is a sparse and emotionally raw collection.
Kolluri illuminates the interior lives of animals with vibrant
prose and sparse storytelling, providing imagery and reason to
their instincts and behaviors. Despite suffering from the illeffects
of humanity, from climate change to outright brutality,
these creatures remain tethered to the balance of the natural
world. Each creature is intrinsically aware of what most humans
severely lack, the deep understanding of the intertwined beauty
of our world and the connection between all living beings.
What We Fed to the Manticore is Kolluri’s only present
publication and was longlisted for the Andrew Carnegie Award
for Fiction and the PEN/Robert W. Bingham Prize for Debut Short
Story Collection, among other nominations.
THE BORDER SIMULATOR BY GABRIEL DOZAL (2023) SPANISH
TRANSLATION BY NATASHA TINIACOS
The Border Simulator (like the real border) was made up
of narratives that pass inspection, ports of entry÷ poems
that have artificial rivers have brother and sister
stream down holographic mountains in an attempt to reach
the lower valley’s work floor.
Gabriel Dozal, through his expansive debut poetry collection,
vividly portrays the bureaucratic cruelty inherent in the U.S.
Mexico border. Following the brother-sister duo, Primitivo and
Primitiva, Dozal captures their crossing journey, interactions
with U.S. customs, and Primitiva’s subsequent exploited labor
at “the fábrica.” Dozal’s depiction of the border is a cyclical
hellscape, an endless simulation trapping crossers in its
closing grasp and assimilating them into the system. “He thought
he arrived, ipso facto / he’s named “crosser.” For if he truly
is one / then surely that’s his job, to cross. You name an
appliance / for what it does. It says here in his file that his
alias / is “Primitivo the Asymptote” but we’ll still call him
/ a crosser because we’re creepy bullies.”
Each poem in The Border Simulator is accompanied by its mirror
translation in Spanish provided by Natasha Tiniacos. Dozal’s
winding and expansive prose allows this consuming collection to
truly capture the dark, labyrinthian state of immigration at the
U.S. Mexico border, highlighting the absurdity of humanity’s
imagined and enforced borders.
No. 122
By Hana Zittel
׉	 7cassandra://iG_vmjJBHweomFuX_fwe1NbxgQ__bbGC4YEvD4NRdDo,t` e/	\!#K׉EARRIVAL
Edwards
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elevation 7,569'
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Gunnison
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elevation 7,701'
ARRIVAL
ARRIVALLeadville
Salida
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elevation 10,158'
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Durango
Durango
Rec Room
elevation 6,529'
Ski Season Plans?
Durango - Durango Rec Room
Salida - 3D Cannabis
Aspen, Basalt, Eagle-Vail, Edwards,
Gunnison, Leadville - Roots Rx
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ASPEN
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elevation 8,000'
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elevation 6,611'
Basalt
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elevation *&^$
ARRIVAL
Eagle-Vail
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elevation 7,602'
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׉	 7cassandra://4F-ZeWCKzeTpm8U6bzbqnj5Jj9pQcQMTCe8CHnmwLTM` e/	\!#Kځe/	\!#KفבCט   u׉׉	 7cassandra://bpnKQZ_sChF-h8vNAJEC4SpcngonucNcSxU_S5nfS3k =*`׉	 7cassandra://EZOlrZKTP4dBREMwIn_mUl1zuKKpPsU1BUaM_iwEbW0͛~`r׉	 7cassandra://IXhGEEc7XL1hfersrDtDtR5wpXw_6T-y0oszWyV1oh8/` e6	\!#Lט  u׉׉	 7cassandra://GvkPFfcaH1gJ226rtUa7G8ik6Ayi76yJl1PYZ7ruHrM O`׉	 7cassandra://Hb6oXO6VRN4J_zGPHRPoLal_yxxEUQYY4RtK7CxUYCk͙`r׉	 7cassandra://yfXY6kFwzWiMndyDbUyDiRyqv1SshAdNDwqJW-Yi-zA.` e6	\!#Lנe6	\!#L ΁̊	9ׁHhttp://MEOWWOLF.COM/VISITׁׁЈנe6	\!#L L
9ׁH !http://MEOWWOLF.COM/VISIT/DENVER.ׁׁЈנe6	\!#L u	9ׁH !http://MIGHTYCOCONUT.COM/MINIGOLFׁׁЈ׉EMEOW WOLF AND MIGHTY COCONUT ARE
BRINGING NEW UNIVERSES TO PEOPLE
EVERYWHERE WITH VIRTUAL MINI-GOLF
GAME, WALKABOUT.
BY RIVKA YEKER
VR insinuates that your reality will be altered and turned into something
unreal. For Meow Wolf and entertainment studio Mighty Coconut, virtual
reality has less to do with tricking you into something that doesn’t exist,
and instead brings you into a world that already does. This specific world
is one that was originally built by Meow Wolf at Convergence Station in
Denver, Colorado. Numina, created by Meow Wolf’s brilliant blue-haired
angel Caity Kennedy, is “an organic landscape that is actually a sixthdimensional
sentient plant — the many cells of which are all timelines
and universes within.”
While Numina’s physical location is open to whoever ventures to it,
Kennedy and Lucas Martell, executive producer and head of
Mighty Coconut, expanded the access to bring the world to
people everywhere with virtual mini-golf game, Walkabout. In a
conversation with Meow Wolf’s Director of Brand Content Allyson
Lupovich, Kennedy delved into the joy of collaboration within the art of
VR. But before there was talk of collaboration, there was exploration
of what mini-golf means for people — in its campy nature, oftentimes
ridiculous setup and childhood nostalgia.
Kennedy reflected, “It has a little bit of a funny mystique to it, kind of
like a roadside attraction. You know, any of those things that as a little
kid you were like, oh my god. Here’s a giant dinosaur in there and you can
choose the color of your ball. It’s such a bizarre form of entertainment
that is beloved and kind of forgotten and the sort of thing that people
who are from another culture could come here, see mini-golf and be like,
wow.”
Mini-golf allows people the option to gamify their experience or just
take their time to leisurely explore the magical world that was carefully
crafted and imagined by these artists. With collaboration being at the
forefront, there was so much possibility for Meow Wolf and Mighty
Coconut’s Walkabout to actually co-create together by learning from
one another’s mediums. For instance, Kennedy excitedly spoke about a
lighting designer who found thrill in newfound possibility amongst the
fantastical.
“There was no particular logic at play that he had to work with. You know,
in our world, we have to deal with light fixtures, and in their world, they
often have to make light fixtures up. We can just light things, but then
they have to go in and make light sources so that it looks more natural.”
This exploration of what is possible in the “natural” world versus the
digital one is both a science fiction phenomenon and a tangible reality
for designers, animators and artists operating in both spheres. What you
know in one plane of existence looks differently in another.
But this is exactly what encouraged such open collaboration — the power
of people’s strengths and curiosities. Kennedy said that she’d pose the
question: “What do you want to do? Yeah, this is my project, but it’s your
project now too. What have you always wanted to do that you
could do here?” These sorts of questions were the perfect
ground for the most natural partnerships in world-building.
It invoked true unlimited imagination.
In many ways, the digital space is the new accessible art
collaboration. Meow Wolf started off as a vehemently
open
door
collaborative,
but
as
the company
progressed, possibilities shifted. So, for this to
be the first Meow Wolf VR project, it made
sense that it was co-conspired with others — a
reminiscent homage to the early days when
anybody could join in and collectively make art.
For this particular project, because the art itself
is also mini-golf, there are so many different ways
׉	 7cassandra://IXhGEEc7XL1hfersrDtDtR5wpXw_6T-y0oszWyV1oh8/` e/	\!#K׉Eyou can explore the VR sphere. Kennedy explains, “You can be the type of
deep diver that’s gonna go find every detail, find every Easter egg, have
it be more about the visual experience. You can be the type of deep diver
that’s gonna solve every puzzle. You can also just pass through.” The
openness of the world reminds the experiencer that there is no correct
way to appreciate this world. It is an experience crafted by people who
want you to engage with it in whatever way is right for you. Everything is
intentional, so no matter how you go about it, you’re doing it right.
In terms of the actual production of the work, Kennedy spoke about
Mighty Coconut’s perspective on the game itself. She explained, “The
Walkabout folks said something like, ‘this is the most complex of any
of our builds’ even though it’s one of the spatially smallest, but a lot of
their builds have a lot of space, a lot of planes. This one is all tangles and
facets and, you know, leaves and flowers are complicated shapes.” She
went on to describe how difficult it is to replicate certain concepts in the
virtual world, how an artist has to think in a totally different language.
For instance, mirrors in the physical realm are used as a cost saving
device. In VR, they’re nearly impossible. Kennedy reflected, “You just
can’t do an exact mirror in this space. It’s easier to build a second room
that’s flipped and have it look like you’re looking through whatever than
to build a mirror that’s reflecting what you’re actually in. Creating reality
is really hard. Dealing with the reality of sound bleed in real life is really
hard. The things that are so natural — they become problems in one — are
so impossible to recreate their problems in the other.”
Despite these challenges, the digital world of art-making does create
way more accessible options for people to engage with art. Though it
isn’t cheap still, it is far less expensive to buy a headset than it is to
acquire a huge space, all the materials, and all the help necessary to build
a gigantic installation. Kennedy reflects on a dream she has — a Meow
Wolf commune. She analyzes, “We can find people, they can find us, we
can have proposals, we can work together, we can do all this stuff with a
few people that takes years, but other than the ecological implications
of server farms, the digital space is open.” She envisions, “We could have
people building together as neighbors, like those games where you have
a farm and you build a farm and then you can go visit a random farm
over and over and be like, ‘I like this farm,’ upvote or see top voted farms
… Or top voted cookie shops, you know, they’re all games where you can
do that. It’s this quasi-social, quasi-geographic experience that could be
done with art and with the virtual.”
Meow Wolf’s approach to art is, in many ways, a subversion of the
norm no matter which reality it exists in. Kennedy and her team take
pride in this new venture into the digital, planting a Meow Wolf stamp
on every virtual crevice they find. With this being her first entrance into
a VR game like this, she wholeheartedly asks, “What’s weirder than the
idea of an art game?” In every inch of the Walkabout x Mighty Coconut x
Meow Wolf version of Numina, weird art waits for someone to witness it.
When it comes to VR, it expands these realities into multiple layered
meta planes. It allows for collaboration on every level, from its most
physical form to its more digitized. This is what encourages and
welcomes sincere artistic expression — the freedom to truly play with, be
inspired by, and learn from one another.
ESCAPE INTO THE FUN AND BEAUTIFUL WORLD OF WALKABOUT:
MIGHTYCOCONUT.COM/MINIGOLF
VISIT THE REAL LIFE NUMINA & MORE AT CONVERGENCE STATION IN
DENVER, CO: MEOWWOLF.COM/VISIT/DENVER.
CHECK OUT MEOW WOLF'S OTHER PORTALS NEAR YOU: SANTA FE,
NM; LAS VEGAS, NV; GRAPEVINE, TX; AND COMING SOON ... HOUSTON,
TX! MEOWWOLF.COM/VISIT
׉	 7cassandra://yfXY6kFwzWiMndyDbUyDiRyqv1SshAdNDwqJW-Yi-zA.` e/	\!#K܁e/	\!#KہבCט   u׉׉	 7cassandra://QxaT2JWHVflVG9fbFAOhbewEjtmt_MukRApf-FngvYU 0`׉	 7cassandra://4VRPXMJP3Rii6KKmSD0hMWY8WtWQ1ZZB5rZPsaZ4XKcq `r׉	 7cassandra://djls2M6-RQtF60QtiKmVBWiibLDnxWMyjQOM3iE0_6Q"c` e8	\!#Lט  u׉׉	 7cassandra://VZsHhFbdry-i2Os1YSoDtSw5qRevzvupQIi7RD5TOsc `׉	 7cassandra://8mZ_1I2lWJgtZXTQDtwmz-AdDTZr2eNpn7K6IUWlSsg͠`r׉	 7cassandra://p9a1OPUC1oe9RvnZtOk0McfsZzlEHWpnZzbf-ymIZyI)G` e8	\!#L׉E	HUGO-AWARD WINNING FINALIST ALVARO ZINOS-AMARO
DEBUTS HIS FIRST NOVEL RELEASED BY COLORADO’S
INDEPENDENT PUBLISHING HOUSE HEX PUBLISHERS. “A
CLEVERLY BORGESIAN, REALITY-DISTORTING PREMISE
ENLIVENS THIS TRIBUTE TO SILVER AGE SF,” (KIRKUS
REVIEWS) — EQUIMEDIAN IS AVAILABLE THIS MONTH.
Jason Velez lives a mundane existence installing EmuX virtual reality
machines — scraping together just enough money to pay for his increasingly
unsustainable science fiction collection — when he begins having strange
dreams. He knows he has to make some personal changes if he hopes to
get his life in order.
Except change is exactly what’s happening to those around him. His
roommate’s personality suddenly shifts. Jill, his closest single friend,
retroactively has a long-term partner. And why doesn’t anyone remember
what a wristplex is?
Disoriented by these alterations, and suffering from panic attacks and
lapses in memory, Jason tries to convince his friends that something is off,
and it might have to do with the enigmatic Progress Pilgrims — a mysterious
order who can travel microseconds into the future. But if that wasn’t
enough, a flyer labeled only EQUIMEDIAN leads Jason to a meditative selfNo.
122
improvement service that seems to know a little too much about Jason for
comfort.
With his walls closing in and nowhere else to turn, Jason must decide
where and how to finally make a stand. If he does, he might just change the
world — if the world doesn’t change him first.
[Excerpt from EQUIMEDIAN: ]
SATURDAY MORNING I wake up feeling weirdly hung over, not from
alcohol, but from my trapdoor nightmares.
I leave the apartment in a hurry, making my way to a Brooklyn dump called
Jackson’s in search of literary bargains. They have none. From there I visit
an antique shop that sometimes carries old magazines, and I score three
issues of Vertex. One of these has a rubber-stamped address of another
shop I’ve never heard of. Something about the address — 106a Court — calls
out to me, and the name of the store, The Curio, immediately appeals, so I
decide to venture forth and explore.
As I head over, I wonder if the place is still in business; the magazine with
the stamped address is over ten years old. My speculative excitement grows
with each step, and I recall a plethora of “magic shop” stories I read as a
teen. When I reach the address, I find that the place still very much exists.
I’m both underwhelmed and completely satisfied by its dingy exterior.
׉	 7cassandra://djls2M6-RQtF60QtiKmVBWiibLDnxWMyjQOM3iE0_6Q"c` e/	\!#K׉EDirty storefront glass reveals the diffuse glow of a faint bulb inside, and the
building itself, drab and gray, suggests decrepitude. Herein may lie wonders,
I think.
A surprisingly young man behind a makeshift counter formed by columns
of books watches me approach. To get to him I have to navigate a long,
narrow passage between walls crammed from floor to ceiling with books.
As I draw near, he sets down a green, jacketless hard-cover with a faded
title on its cracked spine, and his gaunt face regards me coolly. “What’re
you looking for?”
He’s probably fifteen years younger than me. How ridiculous that he
should have at his command this vast emporium. “Excuse me,” I say, “are
you the proprietor?”
“I’m his son.” He scowls. “What do you need?”
I’m reassured by his response. Nepotism is one of several satisfying
explanations for life’s inimical unfairness and requires no further thought.
“Do you carry science fiction?”
“Upstairs.” He points in the direction of a rickety staircase and resumes
his reading.
“Would you mind holding on to these?”
I place a bag on the counter, containing my purchases from earlier in the
day. “Receipt is inside,” I point out.
Wordlessly he takes the bag, which disappears behind the counter.
Up I go, emerging on an even dustier second level over-stuffed with books
and coin cases and mismatched plates and decorative tiles and incomplete
silverware sets and what appear to be broken lamps. After a few valiant
heartbeats I study the bookcases, organized in no apparent order. Deep
inside this crammed, dusky labyrinth, between stamp-collecting catalogs
and railway manuals, I hit the mother lode: three bookcases sagging under
the weight of obscure science fiction magazines and paperbacks, again in
no decipherable order. I roll up my sleeves and begin the treasure hunt.
Within minutes, I claim two issues of Odyssey.
Until now, I’d never even heard of this magazine, but these two
specimens, the first with its bright golden Kelly Freas cover, the second
with its seductive magenta backdrop and stylized ships, steal my breath
the moment I spy them on one of this bookstore’s endless shelves. And
now that I’ve scanned their contents, my fear of glossy-but-caloricallyempty
product has been allayed.
The nonfiction has its hooks in me. The first issue, dated Spring 1976,
includes “Charlie Brown’s Fan Scene,” as well as book reviews by Ted
Sturgeon and Bob Silverberg — and there’s even an interview with Zenna
Henderson. The second issue, from Summer 1976, has more reviews by
Silverberg, another fan piece by Charlie Brown, and essays by Ackerman,
Pohl and Goldin. Looking at the fiction listings, the only author who grabs
my attention is Thomas N. Scortia, whose collection a few years back,
Caution! Inflammable!, won me over with its Aztec-infused tale “The
Goddess of the Cats.” Senora Martin and that mermaid mural — sigh.
Those two exclamation marks pack a punch, too. Take that, feeble singleexclamation-mark
Dorsai! and Cryptozoic!!
The magazines are dusty but are otherwise in acceptable condition,
their covers mostly uncreased. They possess the scent of unrealized
potential, and they bear the eccentric touch of Roger Elwood, a loony
and obsessive editor. He pumped out fifty-five anthologies from 1972 to
1978. I once heard it said that Elwood showed up at a convention where
a fan was seeking signatures for his copy of Clute’s Encyclopedia — “The
Book” — and when Elwood, who’d never heard of the volume, saw that it
contained an entry about him, he proceeded to use the convention hotel’s
staff-only photocopier to make himself a copy. Apparently he also once
threw cellophane-wrapped sandwiches at the audience of a Lunacon in
an attempt to get folks to attend one of his talks. Still, some of Elwood’s
misconceived, thoroughly warped projects, like Androids, Time Machines
and Blue Giraffes, which Elwood edited with TV publicist Vic Ghidalia, have
a certain charm. All of which is to say that despite Elwood being more
blemish than medallion, I have a soft spot for him and his work, and it
inclines me to like these two magazine issues bearing his imprimatur.
The issues’ greatest virtue is probably that they don’t take up much room.
I have to think of this now, because once I walk out of here and head back
to the apartment, I’m going to be confronted by the reality of my upcoming
downsizing. If nothing else, though, I should buy them as a memento of
this experience.
I finish rifling through the current shelf, but the rest of it turns out to be
pretty mundane. I keep going.
Time passes in a kind of fugue. Titles start to blur together. Three shelves
yield nothing, and I feel my energy wane. But there’s a shot of pick-me-up
on the very next shelf, Kenneth Bulmer’s On the Symb-Socket Circuit, which
I started reading two years ago, loaned out at a Mayflies gathering, and
never received back. Less intriguing but also coming home with me will be
Ernest Callenbach’s Ecotopia, Geoffrey Simmons’ The Adam Experiment
and David R. Bunch’s Moderan. I examine them as best I can in the weak
light. Is my treacherous right eye acting up again? Two of these paperbacks
have hole-punched covers, but are otherwise intact, and the third looks
unread. I set them aside along with the magazines.
Again, the shelves after this are mostly junk, and the pendulum swings
back toward exhaustion. I need fuel. I advise the young man behind the
register that I’ll be back shortly to continue scouring the place for more
manna. “Knock yourself out,” he says.
On my walk I pass a Hardee’s, a Perkins Pancakes and a Bob Evans eatery.
I opt for the latter, order one of their “farm-sized” chicken and noodles
dishes and leave half the food on my plate. My wristplex tells me about half
an hour has passed since I left the Curio, and I hustle back.
I receive a surly nod from the cashier and head back to the literary ossuary,
now as before, deserted. I’ve barely resumed my efforts when I make out
three hardcovers by William Kotzwinkle — isn’t he the writer with whom that
Custodian was so enamored? I’ll admit that this trifecta tempts me. Hermes
3000, an unusual Pantheon hardcover, has a pristine jacket, and though
Fata Morgana and Herr Nightingale and the Satin Woman, both issued
by Knopf, are ex-lib, their worn jacket sleeves can be peeled off without
difficulty, as can their spine stamps. The presence of this Pantheon edition
puts me on high alert for more British goodies, and this attentiveness pays
off when I find a pile of New Worlds Quarterly’s. Anthology number 8 in this
series, edited by one Hilary Bailey, has two stories — “The Broken Field” and
“Black Hole” — by Nigel Francis, a writer I like, and also two tales by Robert
Meadley, whose titles — “Conversations at Ma Maia Metron” and “Love
at Lost Sight” — immediately captivate me.
And so it continues, until the clerk downstairs calls out, “Fifteen
minutes to closing time!”
“Be right down,” I yell back.
I kick into hyper-mode, assessing and re-assessing my stack of
intended purchases with frenetic diligence. I feel guilty about spending
any money at all on this stuff, but the store owner clearly has no idea what
some of this is worth. Leaving the principle of the thing aside, the books
and magazines are in superb condition, and their combined expense won’t
make a dent on anything except my grocery money. Besides, if I’m going
to reduce my collection to its absolute essentials and sell off most of it, I
should allow myself these last additions, which will no doubt enhance the
21
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9ׁHhttp://HEXPUBLISHERS.COMׁׁЈ׉Ecollection’s overall resale value.
I sweep the over-stuffed shelves one last time, and as I turn around I
notice a flyer sticking out from the middle of the last bookcase.
The flyer’s color and sheen distinguish it from its surroundings. Printed on
a glossy sheet in deep azure, and neatly inserted atop the book row, it looks
brand new.
“Closing time,” the clerk hollers.
“One second!”
I pull the flyer out and glimpse a word printed in a sleek, minimalist, white
font: EQUIMEDIAN. Beneath it is a phone number. I fold it in four and stuff it
in my pocket. I wend my way down the creaky staircase, both arms loaded,
clutching the goods tightly to my chest to keep them from toppling over.
As he rings me up, I take another look at the flyer. The word “Equimedian”
sounds familiar. Where have I heard it before?
Ah yes, Keshawn Lee. In the Custodians meeting he mentioned researching
it at the Columbia University library. I deposit the flyer on the desk. “Do you
know what this is?”
“What?” asks the clerk. “No rebates or coupons, if that’s what you’re
after.”
“I found this among the stacks,” I say.
“Congratulations.”
“Looks brand new.”
He continues with his arithmetic.
“It wasn’t in the science fiction section when I went out for food. I would
have noticed it. But it was there when I came back.”
“You’re a regular Jules de Grandin.”
“My point is that someone left this flyer here during the short time I was
away.”
“You do realize you’re not the only customer who’s been in here today,
right?” His tone wordlessly adds “Thank God for that.”
“Do you happen to remember who went upstairs when I was gone? I was
away for maybe thirty-five minutes.”
“No clue,” he says.
“Try.”
“I just did.”
I wave at the cash register. “I’ll pay you twice whatever you were going to
charge me if you try harder.”
His forehead stiffens. “Sorry.”
Defeated, I refold and repocket the flyer.
He bags up my purchases, in a manner more haphazard than I’d like, and I
pay and leave.
Two subway lines later I’m back at the apartment. When I walk in Leon is
standing at the edge of the kitchen. “Hey,” he says.
“Hey.”
“Wow.” He points at the bags. “And that is?”
I stop. “None of your business.”
He jeers and juts forward. “More books, isn’t it?”
“Don’t worry about it,” I say.
“Jason, I really don’t care what you read or how you spend your time,” he
says. “But I am seriously concerned about the clutter. And the hygiene.”
“I’ll have your rent on time,” I say. “What I do in my room is my concern.”
I walk to my bedroom, set the bags down and close the door. I sit on my
bed and catch my breath.
I’m surprised by the apartment’s stillness.
It’s gloomy. Invasive.
The silence is loud.
The trapdoor dreams float up to my consciousness and swim around in
No. 122
my thoughts.
To avoid them, I start unpacking my haul. The very first book I pick out
of the bag has a gash in the cover that I could have sworn wasn’t there
when I bought it. The next two paperbacks have obnoxious lime-colored
price-stickers that I hadn’t noticed on the rear covers, which, as I find out
by clawing at them, won’t come off without peeling away part of the book.
The next stack of magazines is mostly okay, though they appear older and
more frail than they looked under the Curio’s dim lights. I lay everything out
on the bed and do a quick count: seventy-two paperbacks, six hardcovers,
and forty-three back issues of rare magazines. I should be shivering with
pleasure, with a sense of accomplishment, but as I take a cold, hard look at
the display, I mumble, “This looks like a pile of trash.”
What was I thinking?
I grab a couple of items at random and hold them up to the light. The
artwork hues and the aged tint of the pages seem to change before my
eyes. I squint and look only through my good eye, the left one.
My breath catches in my throat.
The world looks slightly blurry. Recently I’ve been seeing these weblike
“floaters” and there are more than the last time I checked. Holding
the books up much closer, they finally resolve themselves into detail and
texture. My eyesight appears to have worsened — a lot.
Each thud of my heart tolls disappointment and self-chastisement. I feel
myself slouch.
I have barely enough willpower to slide all this junk off the bed and toss it
into the bags in which I dragged it up here. I sit for a while, hearing things I
don’t want to hear, whispers from the relentless demon of self-doubt.
I turn off the lights and lie down, fully clothed, and something brushes
against my right leg. I reach down and pull out a flyer from my pocket.
Its surface shimmers.
The letters on the flyer spelling out EQUIMEDIAN emit a faint light. The
letters become bioluminescent creatures, roaming through the coral sea of
my bed, swimming towards the island that is my life. The creatures lodge
themselves in my mind. The phone number right below the word occupies
me.
Without turning on the light, I reach toward the phone on my night table.
I dial the number.
GET A COPY OF EQUIMEDIAN:
HEXPUBLISHERS.COM | AMAZON | BARNES & NOBLE
ALVARO ZINOS-AMARO IS A HUGO- AND LOCUS-AWARD FINALIST WHO HAS
PUBLISHED OVER FIFTY STORIES, AS WELL AS OVER A HUNDRED ESSAYS, REVIEWS,
AND INTERVIEWS, IN A VARIETY OF PROFESSIONAL MAGAZINES AND ANTHOLOGIES.
THESE VENUES INCLUDE ANALOG, BENEATH CEASELESS SKIES, GALAXY’S EDGE,
NATURE, VASTARIEN: A LITERARY JOUÅVRNAL, THE LOS ANGELES REVIEW OF
BOOKS, LOCUS, TOR.COM/REACTOR, STRANGE HORIZONS, THE YEAR’S BEST
SCIENCE FICTION & FANTASY, CYBER WORLD, THIS WAY TO THE END TIMES, THE
UNQUIET DREAMER, NOX PAREIDOLIA, THE BOOK OF EXTRAORDINARY FEMME
FATALE STORIES, MULTIVERSES: AN ANTHOLOGY OF ALTERNATE REALITIES,
AND MANY OTHERS. TRAVELER OF WORLDS: CONVERSATIONS WITH ROBERT
SILVERBERG WAS PUBLISHED IN 2016 TO CRITICAL ACCLAIM. BEING
MICHAEL SWANWICK, ALVARO'S SECOND BOOK OF INTERVIEWS,
APPEARED IN 2023. EQUIMEDIAN IS ALVARO’S DEBUT NOVEL.
HEX PUBLISHERS IS COLORADO’S INDEPENDENT PUBLISHING
HOUSE PROUDLY SPECIALIZING IN GENRE FICTION: HORROR,
SCIENCE FICTION, CRIME, DARK FANTASY, COMICS, AND
ANY OTHER FORM THAT EXPLORES THE IMAGINATION.
FOUNDED BY WRITERS, HEX VALUES BOTH
THE AUTHOR AND THE READER, WITH AN
EMPHASIS ON QUALITY, DIVERSITY, AND
VOICES OFTEN OVERLOOKED BY
THE MAINSTREAM.
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Dinosaurs
will
fuck ur
shit up.
Art by Erik Rogers
Therizinosaurus
Velociraptors bullying a protoceratops
No. 122
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Utahraptor
juvenile Deinonychus
25
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BY ZAC DUNN
The air is escaping through the vent
So outside into the snow I went
Looking for the
old cold little
boy who was once so
brutally annoyed
Gazing in the
vacuum expanding
endlessly
Into sublime silence
He would speak of another place
Far away that was the opposite of where we stood
A place of lights and humans and filth and crime
A place of vice and excess of choices expanded
to extensions
Spelled out neon and steel
He spoke of himself tragically
Thrown all alone like a stone
From his aging folks
more surprised to see him than
them
Always hungry and ambitious
As the snow falls and I crawl up the
block to
Sprinkle the salt so souls don’t slip
I wonder about the cold night he told me
that he disappeared
Somewhere between the Deuce and Penn
he said
The inner aorta of the pulsing ugly thing
That was bigger and badder, kinder and more
sublime
Bathed in the torrents of humans like
The sun chasing the moon rising and falling
But never recalling where they came from long
enough to forget
Where they were
SANDY would lace his boots and put on a long
woolen coat before putting
The long string that contained his keys around his neck
As he stepped out of the door
He clutched a tiny hand-painted LEAD KNIGHT for luck
As the flakes coated the granite and tar block leading
down
Woodruff an OWL somehow stopped long enough upon
A bit of spalted ASH to behold a small person who seemed
So all on his own that for a brief moment the snow and the
COLD
Made him utterly disappear
And swallow him WHOLE
FOLLOW FOR MORE WORK — IG: @UZIEGO | TUMBLR: @WTFCRAIGSLISTNYC
No. 122
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toxoplasma arts
session vocals
collaborative pianist
music lessons
toxoplasmaarts.com
27
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ACIDBAT – DEAD SUN EP
“Beaver Moon” begins with a finely processed progressive beat like an acid version of “On the
Run” by Pink Floyd including the warbling off-center sonics. The pacing and rhythm warp and
stretch but reassert an urgent forward motion with rapid hi-hat shimmer. It sets the expectation
for the 4-song EP that pairs rattling percussion and processed textures with ghostly abstract
melodies as on “Cabrone.” And it provides an enhanced depth of sonic field that guides the
production throughout so that individual sounds occupy a place in the mix at varying distances.
On the title track tones ring out and fade like strings plucked, while an insectoid fuzz of synth
pulses, trading duties with a more low-end sound so that the music takes on dimensional space
— like getting to be at some grimy dubtechno club in your mind that fans of early Aphex Twin and
Autechre will appreciate greatly.
ALIEN GOTHIC – HIGH AND DRY
Ryan Policky of A Shoreline Dream fame and his compatriot on the latest Genessier EP, Andy
Urmacher, collaborated on this album full of surprisingly grimy and gritty production and guitar. ASD’s
sound is so often more dreamlike, uplifting yet frequently dark melodies, whereas Genessier is more
Skinny Puppy-esque spooky soundscaping. Alien Gothic is like a fusion of both into something darker
and more sinister as a commentary on the current state of culture and its feedback loop of algorithmic
associations that, because they aren’t organic, often leave people feeling unsatisfied and empty.
There are soaring moments of epic deathrock here which are often lo-fi enough to seem as authentic
as a found practice space tape by an unknown band. Pretty chords are replaced with buzzsaw
edginess, but never without a haunted quality alongside it in the end. Song to song it’s a monument to
modern alienation and isolation in grand Goth shoegaze tones.
CALAMITY – CHIROMANCY
Kate Hannington’s economy of songwriting across this album is impressive, especially
considering it feels fully realized and tonally colored in with its spareness and spaciousness that
invites the listener in closer for her stories. Assembling finely crafted guitar riffs with electronic
and some live percussion along with synths and field recordings, Hannington gives us a true
sense of place physically and emotionally with these songs. Her commanding yet vulnerable
vocals always feel like an anchoring presence in the songwriting, like she's putting the direct
human experience of the inspiration of the songs first and orchestrating a flow of textures and
tones around that. Hannington relates painful experiences and the realization of hard realities
but offers a respite from being sunk by them. The title track, as it were, “Palm Reader” seems
to be about being observant and reading the signs but not always being able to benefit from
one’s keen perceptions, and in the end not feeling beholden to other people’s “vibes.” Is it an
indie album? Sure. A shoegaze/dream pop record? You could be into this if you’re into that. But
whatever categories seem to suit Calamity, it’s the astute human commentary and the always
evocative songwriting that keeps you listening.
COMBAT SPORT – CELESTIA SUFFERS
The rapid percussion with pulsing bass underneath and triumphant melodies of the album’s title
track wouldn’t be out of place in the realm of 90s hard trance. Something about the production
here emphasizes a buoyancy to the rhythm with the synths sustaining an expansive spirit. Combat
Sport doesn’t wear you out with the nonstop adrenaline rush of the music. At the beginning
of “Desiderium,” there is a break before the pounding drums come in for a moment then fade,
allowing rapid pulsing sounds that dissolve beautifully and give way to other elements in the mix.
It’s a subtle way of varying the set if this was something you experienced live at a rave. Combat
Sport has clearly been to many raves and brings that awareness to this album that isn’t just dance
music, but an expression and purging of melancholy and anxiety. It never gets monotonous and is
simply an example of how this music can have real emotional resonance beyond the dance floor.
FOR MORE, VISIT QUEENCITYSOUNDSANDART.WORDPRESS.COM
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9ׁH !mailto:WEREWOLFRADARPOD@GMAIL.COMׁׁЈ׉EStray
Cat
SmuT
By Nate Balding
Unaccepted as an archetype by a youthful Carl Jung trapped shivering
within his dream-fevers, she rocks back and forth in the shadowy corners
of aging homes on every block in America, surrounded by her feline
companions. Her form is rooted as deeply in the human psyche as the
necessity of breath, or the knowledge that the only thing keeping the InN-Out
Double-Double from being considered overrated is the option to
order it Animal Style. She is The Forlorn. The Dejected. The Maiden and
The Crone spurned by society with its endlessly dubious inquiries.
She is the Crazy Cat Lady and hers is the story of love.
Cards on the table, this Valentine edition of Werewolf Radar does feature
cats, ladies, love (after a fashion) and events perhaps considered crazy if
you’re some sort of modern-day Phyllis Schlafly taking your rightful place
No. 122
as lead kink-shamer for the Prude Boys.
The focus, however, requires we imagine a Byronic near-mythical Kelly
Slater surfing across the Pacific and shooting the curl of time to wash up
on the shores of Edo period Japan. A place where would-be 2020 Olympian
Kanoa Igarashi is all, “What’s up old man? I hope you brought your gold
medal game because this is my beach and trespassers have to crush
before they can party.”
Free license surf rock emerges from nowhere and The Kids™ gather round
for an ol’ fashioned Beach Blanket Banger. Slater and Kanoa paddle into
battle where the only real winner can be the boundless sea. In the end,
both lie breathless on the warm sand and Kanoa gives Slater the goahead,
enemies no more.
KAWANABE KYŌSAI
UTAGAWA KUNIYOSHI
UTAGAWA KUNIYOSHI
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“Cat ladies.”
“Righteous.” Slater follows dusk’s slow crawl over the sand, toward
the city, leaving the fires of go-go jubilation in his wake. He’s guided by
strange tales recounted in a cheaply-purchased sharenbon — travelogs for
the pleasure districts.
Among these first-hand accounts of restaurants, kabuki plays and inns
where one might meet a companion-for-a-fee, are tales of supernatural
occurrences. One is a story about Kono, a bakeneko — reductive translation:
shape-shifting cat — working as a meshimori onna entertaining men at
the Ise Inn in the Shinagawa-juku area. A similar tale recounts a man
witnessing his amant pour la nuit — reductive translation: sex worker —
now transformed into a cat-person, feasting on a human arm, remnants
of her shrimp cocktail appetizer scattered across the floor.
Slater pursues rumor into the underbelly of Edo. He makes no deference
for anonymity or guile in his inquiries, whether it’s with degenerate
gamblers in the back rooms of sketchy inns or a street-side throng of
unruly samurai collecting their lord’s debts. It takes little time for a woman
to approach him with answers: “The gentleman prefers the company of
bakeneko yūjo. Purrrrfect choice. Allow me to show you my wares.”
She proffers a series of intricately detailed watercolors of women
with felid heads. Many of them are in consort with seemingly happy
men, holding hands on a walk or taking a picnic at a crossroads. Co-ed
interspecies mouth-fishing, a description of which is an adventure you
choose. Whatever you came up with, gold star! You’re correct!
“Once our kind were feared. Kaibyō sent from hell to steal corpses or
curse children or dance upright with napkins draping our heads [Author’s
Note: All things people absolutely believed. Carry on]. But now— ” gesturing
to the images, “— now we are famous across every island. Sought by
people of means for our more … exotic traits. In the brothels of Yoshiwara
where dreams and reality are intertwined so acutely that boundaries lose
meaning. Physical … mental … emotional …”
Entranced, Slater swoons like an undersexed character in a Joe Eszterhas
erotic thriller — Showgirls if everyone in the cast knew it was a comedy.
He drifts into wanton emptiness; falling for this cat-woman, for her
enigmatic wiles. Drawing on his decades of world-class surfing, he recalls
all the spills it took to achieve greatness; the necessity of embracing
the flow, understanding the waves; becoming part of the greater, not to
conquer it but to collude. In what he refers to as his mind-egg, when he’s
positive nobody’s listening to his thoughts, he douses the furry puff most
humans recognize as a feeling synonymous to “pleasant” with a deluge of
sea-foam. “I … love … the OCEAN!” he shrieks, breaking the enchantment.
“Suit yourself, aquaman. We could have been beautiful together.”
The crazy cat lady, true to form, eschews this human as easily as
she’d attached. For her, there’s always another. A love yet unfound,
simultaneously deep and petty. Schrödinger’s conversation of candy
hearts.
Happy Valentine’s Day, you self-actualized singles out there.
HAVE QUESTIONS ABOUT THE PARANORMAL?
SEND THEM TO: WEREWOLFRADARPOD@GMAIL.COM
OR TWITTER: @WEREWOLFRADAR.
IT’S A BIG, WEIRD WORLD. DON’T BE SCARED. BE PREPARED.
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׉	 7cassandra://ipfw0WFVHhjzMJHZP1527rKZ2Bm4V_Wc9YMliraDT7Y` e/	\!#K׉E׉	 7cassandra://_Ki6qEr1fO-e5mPathUwFe3NatGB2sjyFHrZ7i7O_W4*A` e/	\!#Ke/	\!#KבCט   u׉׉	 7cassandra://4844nHuTIxPRqgSqbLEZz1TJe3GfRoPK4Y6EKlRgNlc :`׉	 7cassandra://VxGMqNyAIcDaQneEqHXMvqCIeqDtbWrcbXHQbjWi5Wkd=`r׉	 7cassandra://I-NnAIjw6wpb1LL2b039t-d6L-1Ymi1TnLP8Hp3XKmo!` e>	\!#L3׉E׉	 7cassandra://I-NnAIjw6wpb1LL2b039t-d6L-1Ymi1TnLP8Hp3XKmo!` e/	\!#K׈Ee/	\!#Ke/	\!#K,BIRDY ISSUE 122 hPublished February 2024. Birdy Magazine is Denver's only magazine, available monthly in print or online.e!M^y;6