׉?4ׁB! בCט  u׉׉	 7cassandra://iF1fnijerfF8m25R7-8NWFW4fCxDrSHImOMWG4523bc `׉	 7cassandra://GQA-5gT7bD4boeZ6EqQnxUd0Fd0qbmwxrsBBWIuZa3EU$`r׉	 7cassandra://e3GkgK7xSJxH3ElJz2pWjGsWpiKv2iW-VYw7mMcUkH0` ׉	 7cassandra://t7VQsT5o-Xc9XLzYT1B3AtjFFIE5e2BzEIqpBZXOtb4 ͠X_(,3ט   u׈   .|  ׈E_(,3d׉E׉	 7cassandra://e3GkgK7xSJxH3ElJz2pWjGsWpiKv2iW-VYw7mMcUkH0` _(,3e_(,3dבCט   u׉׉	 7cassandra://hkhi512w-1qS3-q11kSyg5f1FQjiNjrvYLFYUh_vq_g `׉	 7cassandra://Py580Dl2ES1UrFP82NX3zoPfPoNLFlAl1PBvCldsBnI͈`r׉	 7cassandra://NjORPxszJ0eh6_RHdnl08A-0ARK9Wg49tH2chV6RZ-s0` ׉	 7cassandra://YSBFnQRRu4-hhkY01nVPYKXd1pScQNSVwRCN56sypUw '͠X_(,3ט  u׉׉	 7cassandra://bhsj-FiUa8m_GdX9ydrEvFRYF1F-jwGE1wOllUW4wZA `׉	 7cassandra://J3XhLNxX8X9wiRX66pKoduqKJdiEMhfySUF5kh-w2h4>1`r׉	 7cassandra://99WYRMZBF2-dg4oUWqQB_W_pvAapvLenJg_YIkVcl5oq` ׉	 7cassandra://8YI8nq9c8PJfyAYld56CuBQPu4vi_s5yncjad22jgIg ͠X_(,3נ_(,3 d	9ׁH  http://BIRDYMAGAZINE.COM/CONTACTׁׁЈנ_(,3 7̨	9ׁHhttp://BIRDYMAGAZINE.COM/SHOPׁׁЈנ_(,3 
	9ׁH $http://BIRDYMAGAZINE.COM/SUBMISSIONSׁׁЈ׉E׉	 7cassandra://NjORPxszJ0eh6_RHdnl08A-0ARK9Wg49tH2chV6RZ-s0` _(,3f׉EALI HOFF, NO EXIT
ISSUE 082 | OCTOBER 2020
FORBIDDEN PLANET: JONNY DESTEFANO
THX 1138: KRYSTI JOMÉI
SCANNERS: JULIANNA BECKERT
HOUSE OF WAX: KAYVAN S. T. KHALATBARI
ROLLERBALL: CRISTIN COLVIN
FRONT COVER: JAMES HATTAWAY, THE DAY HE CAME HOME
— @JAMESHATTAWAYART
BACK COVER: COVER ART BY AJ NAZZARO, IT CAME FROM THE MULTIPLEX
— @AJNAZZARO
ERASERHEADS: JAMES HATTAWAY, ALI HOFF, BRIAN SERWAY, BRIAN POLK,
TYLER GROSS, JOEL TAGERT, DAVE DANZARA, MARK MOTHERSBAUGH, BEATIE
WOLFE, TOM MURPHY, HANA ZITTEL, TYLER DAVIS, JOSHUA VIOLA, AARON
LOVETT, CARSEN GREENE, KATE RUSSELL, RYAN DUNN, PETER GLANTING,
DANIEL CROSIER, ELISA SARGENT, BRIANNA CORN
THE FIFTH ELEMENT: MARK COCKSEDGE, JUSTAVISUALPLAYGROUND, LAUREN
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INVADERS: MARIANO OREAMUNO, CHRIS MCDONALD
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©2020 BIRDY MAGAZINE, ISLAND OF LOST SOULS
THIS ISSUE IS DEDICATED TO THE MEMORY OF THE GROOVIEST CAT WE'VE
EVER KNOWN — SAM SCHIEL — AUTHOR OF TRAX ON WAX, PUBLISHED IN 74
ISSUES. BEST OF TRAX ON WAX COMING SOON. REST IN PEACE, SAM.
INQUEERY: SENSITIVITY READING SERVICES &
׉	 7cassandra://99WYRMZBF2-dg4oUWqQB_W_pvAapvLenJg_YIkVcl5oq` _(,3g_(,3fבCט   u׉׉	 7cassandra://RMvKw0vGqSVr7vjsis6x0OZn_O8wohO7OmfMSjrkzHQ `׉	 7cassandra://qQTlZ8fMobbYfPGDJtOfYziqwI5nBW5mCoe1TMsoT4AP`r׉	 7cassandra://T7-Xc0CBgR6DGvvru8ZQkL9jW5naxkF9QZQwafbghdoW` ׉	 7cassandra://70h9EggXcJt6UXF4BIJLn-oDMaGBZSqNjK0OEg1_oHo ͠X_(,3ט  u׉׉	 7cassandra://-y6btr7QRr4GBHYPSFuDoXJS54EbMfGP5xKJ3kCZPaA "`׉	 7cassandra://1VLLDvJE3w5h5wmHc7FR2D7AvFgb9Lcw5rmqMwFB3uU͛`r׉	 7cassandra://w5S3IlOGHA6bEKjecOnyvcx0GiG_Ut50MX1lHXaGp-Q.` ׉	 7cassandra://_yBK2QFdMLLKFjm8kb6tKcGuk_InupHAXh0xuRuaa3Q (f͠X_(,3׉EBRIAN SERWAY, QUEEN OF LIMBZ
׉	 7cassandra://T7-Xc0CBgR6DGvvru8ZQkL9jW5naxkF9QZQwafbghdoW` _(,3h׉E[Listen, big bottle of wine, you failed me. You were supposed to provide
me with days of alcohol goodness with your plentiful liters of abundance.
But instead, you lasted only three hours — two if you don’t count the
30 minutes it took to get you home from the liquor store and the 30
minutes it took to smoke that really big joint, since I also made that stop
at the dispensary. (I won’t go into it here, but I did buy a big joint with the
expectation that it would last longer than 30 minutes, but I digress … )
So anyway, how dare you lead me astray, big bottle of wine? How dare
you not last the specific amount of time that I figured you would last
when I bought you?
When I first encountered you at your previous home at the Liquor Mart
across town, I was hopeful that I would find a bottle containing your ample
liquid bounty. The thing is, I had been buying regular bottles of wine that
disappear after just a few glasses. And that is simply inefficient. So I
figured I would scour the store for something less fleeting. Alas, I found
it! Apparently there’s an entire back of the store that I had never seen
since I was always so eager to start grabbing the front-of-shop booze.
That’s where I found you standing so unassumingly on an end cap near
the door with the “Employees Only” sign. I remember thinking, Now that
there is one big ass bottle of wine! And then, after marveling at you, I
thought, That big ass bottle would last me all week!
Simply bursting with anticipation, I took you home and showed you to
my roommate.
“That there is one big ass bottle of wine!” she said.
“This big ass bottle of wine should last us all week!” I exclaimed.
Oh, how young and naive we
once were.
Upon the first pour, we filled
our glasses up to the brim, said,
“Cheers,” and then tried to clink them
together. Due to the aforementioned
big joint we had just smoked, our glasses
never connected because we were incredibly stoned. That didn’t stop
us from trying and missing again. At that point, we figured we should
probably just concentrate on drinking your innards.
And concentrate on your innards, we did! Ironically, we drank to quell
our own emptiness, and in doing so, we contributed to yours. While
that part is a little sad, (and probably metaphorical for how we all end
up empty inside), I’m still angry at you. Angry as hell!!!
... Okay, okay. Maybe “angry” is too strong a word.
Actually, big bottle of wine, now that I think about it, maybe I’m not
“angry” at you at all. Perhaps I’m just disappointed. I feel like your
sizable appearance belied a promise that no bottle of wine could ever
keep. For in the end, nothing lasts forever. Big joints get smoked. Big
bottles of wine get drained. And even all-you-can-eat restaurants like
Furr’s Cafeteria close down forever.
Oh well, big bottle of wine. Let’s remember the good times (that I
have since forgotten because I drank you), shall we? And maybe next
time I’ll get that big box of wine that was on the end cap across the
aisle. That has to last at least a couple of days, right?
TYLER GROSS, THRASHMANIA | BEST OF BIRDY FROM ISSUE 022, OCTOBER 2015
׉	 7cassandra://w5S3IlOGHA6bEKjecOnyvcx0GiG_Ut50MX1lHXaGp-Q.` _(,3i_(,3hבCט   u׉׉	 7cassandra://vvWM6eHWw3eC0kgUpGMShEIE9AVRcRQQL0YVKqF4-UY `׉	 7cassandra://f_4XsnLSxiY7MA4o723--sZ3g-0I5e6UKtx2FbG4zTox~`r׉	 7cassandra://tHZAlgmit1IQaVI2wrbRh-wyWrMB9kv5E-AL-BxkNuI#<` ׉	 7cassandra://T36nTtPUFMAm-fLoQj19YuOsQQoHaU3JS83SESJR1g0 ͠X_),3ט  u׉׉	 7cassandra://AFpovDLRZx9PXfPaOA8M4W1bqARIVIZZSD92GqfSm58 /`׉	 7cassandra://dG98Zb3JyvuqVroUs1evfuElKz4pc35LbD8Z2GGZIAY͎S`r׉	 7cassandra://fjRAtZh7tkvQ39XgbRk7JTz1wwuYQftu2qIR1k0xgWQ$W` ׉	 7cassandra://tEtZdvJ2AOJY3zL6ecbOYPpgRKPpQD_yz3ti_OOJSgwK{͠X_),3׉EJONNY DESTEFANO, LAST 100 DAYS
׉	 7cassandra://tHZAlgmit1IQaVI2wrbRh-wyWrMB9kv5E-AL-BxkNuI#<` _(,3j׉E “Why did you bring her?” Collin asked as they got out of their vehicles
beside the barn, frowning at the six-year-old girl hiding behind Alicia's
purple-velvet cloak.
“Don't be a dick,” Alicia said. “She's my cousin and no one else could
watch her.”
“So hire a babysitter.”
“Nobody hires a babysitter when they have a teenager right there
already. Her name's Clara, by the way. Clara, this meatwad is Collin,
and that's Joe.” Luke, being Alicia's boyfriend and having driven them
up to the farm, required no introduction.
Fortunately Clara was not entirely shy, and the extravagantly
dressed group clearly aroused her curiosity. “What are you?” she
asked Joe, encouraged by his cheerful smile. Beneath his hooded
black cloak (made with Alicia's help), he wore black pants, laced black
boots, a black shirt and a vest embroidered in silver; on his waist hung
a plastic-tipped épée and a sheathed dagger.
“What am I?” he answered in a bad almost-English accent. “Bit of a
scoundrel, bit of a lockpick, bit of a useful fellow to have around. But
if you want to know who am I, the name's Timothy Vex, scourge of the
highborn of Rania.” He placed one leg in front of the other and swept
his arms dramatically in an exaggerated courtier's bow. “Pleased to
make your acquaintance.”
“He's a loudmouthed turd,” Collin grunted. “But we need a thief.”
“Pay no attention to Master Barnabas,” Joe said, winking. “Every
adventuring party has a pile of bricks to put between themselves and
their enemies. Barnabas is ours.” Inside or outside the game, Collin
was imposing: six-two, thick in the middle, with a glowering gaze and
patchy beard. The mail shirt, bent-tin pauldrons, wooden shield and
longsword only added to his bulk.
“Why don't I have a costume?” Clara asked her cousin.
“Because we picked you up straight from school. It's okay. We can
still pretend.”
“Actually,” Joe said, “I have just the thing.” They waited curiously
as he opened the trunk of his Celica and returned to show them what
he'd retrieved. It was a mask, bestial in aspect: ragged fur, curving
yellow fangs, irregular black ears, and holes for the eyes. “Well, that's
terrifying,” Alicia said. “Is that real fur?”
“Real fur, real teeth, real everything. I think it was originally from
some taxidermy animal, but someone cut it off and turned it into a
mask.”
“If it's taxidermy, what animal did it come from?” asked Joe,
frowning.
“You tell me. Bear? Wolverine? I found it in my grandparents'
basement.” He nodded toward the country house further up the
valley.
“It's perfect,” Collin grinned. “Your cousin can be a kobold. She's got
the hairy arms for it.”
Alicia punched him, rattling his pauldrons.
“There actually is a kobold in the story though,” Luke said. “It could
work.”
Alicia knelt and put an arm around her cousin. “You could run around
and be all scary.” She made a monster face, hooking her fingers into
claws. Reluctantly Clara took the mask.
“Okay, everyone except Alicia inside,” Luke said, flipping through a
story manual. “We're starting at an inn. Clara, you can be a serving
wench. Like a waitress, but all you serve is ale, meat and bread.”
“Little young to be a wench,” Alicia said.
“Different kind of wench.”
Alicia took a few seconds to get into character, then stepped inside
and made a show of looking around before settling on the group. The
three boys were seated on benches around a picnic table in the haystrewn
barn (the busy inn), the afternoon sun streaming from the
upper windows and falling dramatically upon the party. Gathering her
cloak around her, she steered her way toward the adventurers. “Good
evening, gentlemen. My name is Gemmes Sharn. I hoped I may have
a word.”
“You can have more than words, if you like,” grinned Joe. “Join us,
have some ale!”
At this a very young swerving wench swept up, holding a tray (a bit
of plywood). “Would you like some ale?”
“Yes, please!” Alicia said as she sat down. “What a delightful young
wench! I will have one mug of ale.” The girl smiled and skipped away,
and Alicia turned to the travelers. “Our meeting is no accident. I was
sent to find you by my fellow mage, Tryan of –”
“One mug of ale!” the wench said loudly, setting a water bottle on
the table. “Would you like some meat or bread?”
“Come on, now,” growled Collin. “We're trying to have a
conversation.”
“I would like one very special meat stew from your famous kitchen.
Everyone says it's the best, but it takes a long time to prepare, and
the servers will all have to help for at least five minutes in the kitchen.
Understand?” She waved toward the kitchen (stable stalls).
“One very special meat stew, coming up!” grinned the girl, running
off.
Alicia continued, “Tryan said you had found a strange scroll among
the possessions of the Riktus King, whom you so valiantly vanquished
some weeks ago. That scroll –”
“Miss, do you want your stew spicy or mild?” came a yell from the
kitchen.
“Girl, if you don't stop interrupting us, I'm going to throw you in the
street!” shouted Collin.
“Gentle,” scowled Alicia.
“It's in character,” shrugged Joe.
She returned to the conversation at hand. “That scroll tells of a
peculiar creature haunting the outskirts ...” She trailed off, turning,
hearing a perturbing noise, a chuffing, barking voice coming from
behind the plywood wall of the stables, speaking no recognizable
words. Intellectually, Alicia knew it was Clara, acting the fool, but she
could not connect it with the girl. The hair rose on her arms.
Suddenly a small figure shot out from the stable toward their table,
running on all fours. Without thinking, clearly startled, Collin leapt up
from his bench, knocking it backwards, and the others had nearly as
violent a reaction. The creature paused before them. Though small,
its visage was a nightmare of fur and teeth, and its eyes were wild. It
made a rasping cry and darted outside through the open door.
“Clara!” Alicia said, shocked. “What the hell?”
“Stay in character,” murmured Luke. “We can use this.” He reached
into his white cleric's coat. “Your quest is timely, Gemmes. I have the
scroll you speak of here. It is the account of a serpent monk of Sessu
Goss, written in their hissing tongue, and it speaks of a creature he
captured, a kobold. He sought to use the creature as a sacrifice to
a dark god, but the sacrifice was rejected, and the subject escaped.
Since then it has wandered the countryside, a creeping terror to the
farmers and villagers. They say it cannot be killed.”
7
׉	 7cassandra://fjRAtZh7tkvQ39XgbRk7JTz1wwuYQftu2qIR1k0xgWQ$W` _(,3k_(,3jבCט   u׉׉	 7cassandra://yZdvkE7CTLXApA-mHbp7aOya9xZ__n-589mtwurdXHg Y`׉	 7cassandra://apzg7azxKMCAV_UvNkpgq7QrKBcrqMsf1wf5Qfv7goE͒S`r׉	 7cassandra://JadbcNgEHxTn0LzFMGmYRxIN4FIfJEENK8Lw2B68FCs%` ׉	 7cassandra://2kfAfBsRqosA8_yWE_4V_48xm99xPdCP0QmohTyCP_0͠f͠X_),3ט  u׉׉	 7cassandra://IDYBeRXfkk030s1eAfXoi5Fr3kLFAeGjUq1CsqBB5RE ^`׉	 7cassandra://E13wx3EFZxyDdAjT-2QwEwFDszv2JffFctGCcXOKulcW1`r׉	 7cassandra://6f21Od-_vzOnCwfSTWmwtGAbN-QBO7jzwIfpz0PxS4cC` ׉	 7cassandra://8-v-09p6FKAPk5u2HivVNXj61WHoqRu2pabz1paCa0g ͠X_),3׉EAlicia stood up. “We can look at the scroll later,” she said. “The
answers I seek are with that kobold, and she is getting away.”
Luke frowned. “But the scroll contains much knowledge ...” He
started to unroll it, showing off the fancy (and entirely made-up)
script he had concocted for it.
“I want to check on her,” Alicia hissed. “That didn't seem pretty
dramatic to you?”
Luke shrugged. “She's your cousin. Is she not normally like that?”
“No! Come on.”
“This is why we don't have actual children with us,” groused Collin.
“I don't know, she's a better actor than any of you,” rejoined Joe.
“Freaked me out.”
They went outside with Alicia in the lead, and she saw a small
figure dart around the corner of the barn. “She's right there.”
“Great,” said Luke. “She gets it.” He raised his voice. “Somewhere
in this lonesome land lurks that dangerous creature. We must
capture it and bring it to justice.”
“And help it and heal it if we can,” followed Alicia. “It may be of
predatory nature, but it is the evil influence upon it that has drived
its hunger.”
“Still, we must be careful. The scroll says that if killed, it will only
return stronger and more dangerous than before.”
Thus began the inevitable side-quest, which involved obtaining a
charm from a shaman (also played by Alicia, with a quick costume
change and a witch voice), defeating several bandits who had stolen
said charm (allowing them to swing their swords around and Collin
to knock the others to the ground with his shield). In all this time,
though Alicia assumed her cousin was still just playing around the
barn, she didn't actually see her, and finally, worried, she called a
pause. “Let's take a break, I'm going to check on Clara.”
In a few minutes she returned. “I can't find her.”
Collin shrugged. “She's probably playing hide-and-seek. That's
kind of the point, right?”
“She's six years old. I should have been watching her.”
“Where's she going to go?” Joe said lazily, waving a chocolate bar
around the valley. “She didn't pass us, so I don't think she's in the
woods. She's probably in the barn, hiding in the hay.”
“Get up, help me find her.”
“That's fine, it's where the story's going anyway,” said Luke.
“When we capture the kobold, we must place the amulet around
her neck,” – he held up a bird's skull on a cord – “then join hands
and recite the sacred words: 'Elaseer ser pirith.' Then the possessing
spirit will leave her.”
“Let's find this bitch,” Collin growled. “Spread out.”
First they looked carefully around the barn, kicking gently through
the hay, climbing into the loft. They widened their search in
expanding circles, checking behind some rocky outcroppings and in
an old shed nearby, but Clara was nowhere to be found. “I really
thought she was just in the barn,” Alicia said, clearly worried.
“I mean, she's got to be around here, right?” Joe said, perplexed.
“There's not, like, an old well or something she could have fallen
into?”
“She probably ran into the woods when we went up to the barn,”
said Collin.
“Clara!” she called out. “Clara, it's time to come out now. We need
to go home soon. You win, it's time to come out!”
They circled the fields, looking behind every boulder and tree, but
the grass in the meadow was low and offered no cover for someone
hiding. Inevitably they ended up in the woods by the creek, but if
Clara was down there, she didn't answer their calls; and there were
far too many hiding places to scour.
Alicia tried to hold back her tears, but when Joe suggested checking
his grandparents' house, with the sun nearing the mountains, she
burst out sobbing. “What if she's hurt? Where is she?”
“I'll check the barn again,” Collin said. “You guys check the house.”
The barn had turned gloomy, its emptiness unnerving. He passed
through it half-heartedly, kicking at the straw with his boots,
thinking of how they might have to call a search party. Stupid kid.
Alicia shouldn't have –
Something dropped on him from above, knocking him to his knees.
Then it was on him, clawing at his back, grasping his head. He swore,
trying to toss the beast off, and it bit his ear with teeth that were
sharp as knives, biting his ear off with a terrible pain of ripping
flesh. He screamed, and with great force flung the creature off him
and to the ground.
It somehow landed on all fours, eyes gleaming yellow in the gloom,
fangs glittering as it hissed. It leapt.
Unthinking, he swung with his wooden shield with all his force.
With a cracking sound his attacker was flung four feet and lay
unmoving.
After a stunned moment standing over that small body, he fell to
his ass in the straw, clutching his torn ear (most of which – but not
all – still remained), swearing and crying. When he was able to focus
at all, he looked with terror at the small body before him, seeing the
blue jeans and sweater, the soles of her cheap sneakers.
Finally he got up and went out. He briefly considered getting
in his truck and driving off, but he could not be blamed for what
happened; his ear proved the matter. He met the others returning
halfway between house and barn. “She attacked me,” he said, their
eyes widening at the blood streaming between his fingers. “She was
like an animal. She bit my ear.”
“What did you do?” Alicia asked, shaking. “Where is she?”
“In the barn. She attacked me.”
Alicia ran, and the others followed. Collin had not yet caught up
with them when she burst out from the barn. “Where is she?” she
yelled again. “What did you do to her?”
“She's in the barn,” he repeated, helplessly. “She attacked me, I
swear. It was crazy.”
“She's not in the barn! What did you do to her?!”
“I didn't move her. She's there ...” He stumbled inside.
Clara's body was gone. He had been certain she was dead, morally
certain. “She was here. She was ...” He stopped short of saying it.
“I'm telling you, she was like an animal, not – not human.”
“What did you do?”
He stumbled out of that suffocating space, seeing again the yellow
eyes, the prominent fangs. The mask ... the mask had changed her.
And the mask wouldn't let her die.
Without another word, he rushed toward his truck, thinking only
of flight, the others trailing in his wake. Behind him, like a giant's
shadow, chased a fierce hunger.
׉	 7cassandra://JadbcNgEHxTn0LzFMGmYRxIN4FIfJEENK8Lw2B68FCs%` _(,3l׉E I9
DAVE DANZARA, WELL JIMMY, I GUESS THIS IS IT — @LOST_IN_TIME_DESIGNS
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MM X BW NAME, STAY ALIVE INSIDE
BW, CALL FOR POSTCARDS FOR DEMOCRACY
BW, PFD
MM, WOULDN'T IT BE NICE IF WE COULD
JUST AGREE TO DISAGREE
BW, DON'T BURY THY HEAD IN THE SAND
MM, TECHNOLOGY WATCHES OVER US
BW X MM, TRUST NO ONE
MM X BW, RAW PANIC
BW X MM, WE ARE BUBBLES
MM, PLEASE REMEMBER WE WILL ONE DAY
LEAVE THIS ALL BEHIND
MM, WHATEVER IS GOING ON IN THE WORLD TODAY
MM, IS MY GOOD BOOK YOUR GOOD BOOK
MM X BW, FORESIGHT
׉	 7cassandra://GrA9_Uqy6JqI1tvTChRsCcoLYlN2QSiAyqiKiLy83Is3&` _(,3n׉EMM, ONCE UPON A TIME
BW X MM, WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE
Mark Mothersbaugh and Beatie Wolfe go together like a stamp and a
postcard. Both document our current time in tangible forms as artists,
are accessible down to earth beings with no airs about them, and who
take the road less travelled by being themselves, doing what they love
and spreading inspiration, every, single day.
So when Beatie first reached out to let us know about their new
project, Postcards for Democracy, it couldn’t have felt like a more
destined collaboration between these two rebels with a clause. Standing
up for our freedom of choice, rights to creative expression and supporting
longstanding systems which serve us — the people — by championing free
speech, ideas, information, knowledge and tangible forms of creativity
is at the core of this art demonstration.
In light of the threat to our 225 year old United States Postal Service,
at a time that could jeopardize the democracy of our country, Mark and
Beatie are not only naturally stepping up, but bringing all of us with
them. Postcards for Democracy aims to encourage as many people as
possible to support the USPS at this critical time, our right to vote, and
democracy as a whole via the power of art. The demonstration asks you
to buy USPS stamps, design a postcard and then mail it to 8760 Sunset
Blvd, West Hollywood, CA 90069. The postcards will become part of a
collective art piece presented in both a physical gallery and virtual space
which will be directed by Mark and Beatie.
We talked to Beatie and Mark to learn more about the project and why
something as small as making a postcard can have colossal effects on all
of our collective rights and freedoms.
Beatie mentioned to us that you two set Postcards for Democracy
into motion pretty fast and almost effortlessly, happening all within
roughly a two week period of saying let’s do this! to launching the site
and call for action for people to participate. How did you two come up
with this idea in the first place?
Mark Mothersbaugh: It was Beatie’s idea, to be accurate! We had been
talking for sometime about collaborating on something together, but we
weren’t sure what it should be. I think she just noticed that I was drawing
on card stock roughly the size of postcards every time we chatted about
something and that I was constantly posting images of that art, all
over the place. So we talked about mail art, and I mentioned about my
introduction to it back in the late ‘60s.
Beatie Wolfe: Yes, I loved the idea of Mark and me creating an
exhibition and installation of people's letters in lockdown (a kind of
mailbox menagerie) at this time when physical communication is more
important than ever and because of a shared love that we have of this
lost art-form. And this became much more timely in light of recent
events. So this project seemed to tick all the boxes of both where we
meet artistically and what felt needed in the world right now.
What’s your earliest/fondest memory of mail — receiving or giving —
and/or the post office?
BW: Well this isn’t my memory but a story told to me and it isn’t exactly
fond, but it’s forever imprinted in my mind. It was my 3rd birthday and
my mum was surprised that there was no card from my Grandpa. Then
sadly we heard that he had died. A week later on the morning of his
funeral an envelope, addressed to me in his handwriting and with blood
on it, came through the door. On the back a stranger had written: "I found
this in the street, and thought I'd better post it." It was my birthday card!
MM: My family lived on a farm a couple of different times when I was
young. And I remember watching for the mail truck to stop and leave
things in our mailbox down by the road. I would run like mad to go collect
post and bring it up to the house. This was the late ‘50s, and phone calls
were expensive, and the internet didn’t exist, so people relied more
heavily on postal service. It wasn’t uncommon for people to post a chat
and wait a week to hear a response. I loved getting postcards and finding
out someone in our family was brave enough to venture all the way to
Niagara Falls.
Mark — When we first went to your exhibition Myopia at MCA Denver
in 2014, we saw thousands of your tens of thousands of postcards you
created over the past several decades. Can you recall the first postcard
you ever made? And what prompted you to start creating in this
medium?
MM: I don’t remember the first one but early on I got involved with
the post-art movement that meant if you sent original postcard art to
BW, MAIL US
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BW X MM, MYLAR FROM THE MOON
Jasper Johns or Ant Farm, they might send you some art in return! And,
this week, I just completed red book 500 (100 original pieces of artwork
in each, starting in 1972) ... Now I can die in peace, knowing I reached that
(at one time) unthinkable number.
Beatie — Your lifework is committed to reuniting tangibility,
storytelling and ceremony through exploration, innovation and
activism in art and music. You’ve created numerous tangible forms of
art from hand-held album viewmasters to a listenable record jacket.
How is Postcards for Democracy an extension of this kind of work?
BW: Because I'm constantly questioning what should be preserved,
what could be updated, as well as what we might have lost along the
way. The digital era created access, it presented solutions, but it also
created the idea that we could fast-track a lot of what defined us as
humans to begin with. Writing and receiving personal mail is one of
those core endangered experiences that reconnects us with ourselves,
and with one another, and helps to keep us alive inside. So as well as
being a constant mailer myself, I feel like, at a time where humanity is
more disconnected than ever, we have an opportunity to reassess what
actually matters and reclaim some of what keeps us inspired, uplifted,
connected as human beings. Because just like the mail, if we don't use
it, we'll lose it!
In a world ruled by digital communication, virtual worlds and instant
gratification and response, why is supporting and preserving what
some may dub “old school systems" like the USPS still a pressing issue?
BW: Because we need things that imprint, that make us present. And
mail (along with many other “old school systems”) does that.
MM: Tangible communication, physical presence, is more important
than ever in a world where we are one jackass joker away from the whole
internet vanishing away from planet earth. At that point, the mailman
will be the comrade who rescues us all from descending into chaos and
oblivion.
You both collaborated on several postcards for this project. How did
you make these together? Describe your collaborative creative process.
MM: Part of what makes the post office the post office is that they
collaborate with you also, adding dates, and catchy phrases, and the
occasional stain, so post art is always at least a little collaborative. And,
leaving an image on Beatie’s graffiti-proof art pieces, was a challenge I
wanted to take.
BW: I sent cards to Mark and he sent some to me to build on. The
cards I gave Mark were mainly made out of NASA-grade Mylar (leftover
materials from my Space Chamber) which attempts to repel everything,
including Sharpie ink, but he still found a way to leave his indelible Mark!
What advice can you give those who want to participate but maybe
say: “I can’t make art.” “I’m no good at art.” “I’m not an artist, not
creative.”
BW: I think we often impose limitations that don’t exist or need to
exist. So my advice would be to just have a go. And we’ve had a lot of
people share that this is the first time they’ve made a card.
MM: You don’t have to call it art. That term does get bandied around
a bit so leaving your mark can be called whatever you want. For a long
time, I was a social scientist reporting the good news of de-evolution.
You have a say, so say so!!!
Participants are sending their postcards to 8760 Sunset Blvd in West
Hollywood which will become part of a collective art piece — in both a
physical gallery and virtual space — directed by you both. Can you give
us a little sneak peek or teaser into what this will look like?
MM: It will look like a heck of a lot of mostly handmade postcards! And
other stuff people send instead.
BW: In addition to a digital gallery and physical installation of some
kind, we have a nice idea for creating a piece of art out of all the
contributions that will combine man and the machine, beautiful music
with synchronized visuals.
What are other ways people can support our democracy and
longstanding institutions that serve us — the people — during these
times and beyond?
BW: Start at home and believe that individual actions have the
potential to make a world of difference. And take nothing for granted.
MM: Stop and think about how fortunate you are to live in this flawed
yet interesting time.
Mark — You just survived a life-threatening battle with Covid-19. How
has this impacted the way you now view and make art?
׉	 7cassandra://bM1xr14ehjHego3lrxgpwd2IOddNbq8caS4f6d6WfW8,` _(,3p׉EBW, SPACE CHAMBER ZIGGY FLASH (FRONT)
BEATIE WOLFE’S RAW SPACE CHAMBER AT THE V&A FOR
LONDON DESIGN FESTIVALS, PHOTO BY MARK COCKSEDGE
MM: Yes, a side effect of the coronavirus
was 10 days of ventilator and virus-induced
delusions and hallucinations. I got a lot of
paranoid pieces of art, and an album’s worth of
Devo music and a renewed respect for all things
living.
Beatie — You beamed an album into space via
the Horn Antenna. Are postcards next? ;-)
BW: Ha! That’s classified information I’m
afraid.
Who is your dream penpal?
MM: Timothy Leary, actually. We were close
friends for his last 15 years, and he was the
most optimistic, energetic, pro-celebrator of
life I ever met, next to General Boy.
BW: I’m working with him! And the wonderful
Allee Willis, although I know she’s with us on
this in spirit.
You can send a postcard from anywhere.
Where/when is your card postmarked?
BW: Proxima Centauri, postmarked September
26th 2021. As my music would have reached
it by this point, according to the wonderful
astronomers at Mount Wilson.
MM: West Hollywood. That’s where I’m
locked down.
Anything we missed?
BW: We love you guys!
MM: Yes, just to let you know, everybody I
show birdy magazine to, no matter what they
do, wherever they are in the world, they all
think Denver is so lucky to have you! Keep up
the good work! And please excuse my monovisioned
typing, I’ve been 2-D since catching
Covid-19. It’s not a joke, try to avoid it.
1. Buy USPS stamps
(35¢ for postcards)
2. Make your postcard
(or recycle
someone else’s)
3. Mail it to
8760 Sunset Blvd
West Hollywood, CA
90069-2206
And then what?
The postcards will
become a part of a
collective installation —
directed by Mark and
Beatie — and exhibited
in a physical gallery
and virtual space as a
testament to these times.
Learn more at
postartfordemocracy.com
HOW YOU CAN PARTICIPATE
IN POSTCARDS FOR DEMOCRACY
AND DIRECTLY SUPPORT OUR UNITED STATES
POSTAL SERVICE AND YOUR RIGHT TO VOTE!
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׉	 7cassandra://hBWEnqE7boc4MFH-BDfkkpq2VG6NHaI8oWzhHGRK96I (` _(,3r׉EGDYAD – DORMANT
Charles Ballas and Jeremy Averitt are perhaps better known for
their participation in acts like Howling Hex and Esmé Patterson's
live band respectively as well as their production work for Echo
Beds. But DORMANT from their long-running collaborative project
DYAD showcases their mutual knack for genre-bending IDM-esque
soundscapes, freely blending elements of non-Western polyrhythms,
intricate and textured instrumentation, luminous jazz keyboard
progressions and tasteful electronic arrangements that convey an
eclectic and international flavor. Imagine music equally influenced by
Herbie Hancock, 80s Ethiopian synth pop, Daft Punk, Warp Records
artists and informed by a deep sense of play, and you will have some
idea of the soothing and imagination stirring quality of this music and
its brilliantly new age downtempo future jazz sounds.
EHPH – INFRARED
This Denver-based electro-industrial duo minces no words on the
opening track “Idiot” in its commencing sample “I'm gonna say one
thing, fuck Trump.” And then on to choice sampling of 45s words
and those of journalists cataloging some of his offenses against
humanity. The menacing descending synth bass progression and
minimalistic percussion puts the focus on the words.
The rest of the album is less explicitly and specifically topical
but it is the band's most fully realized and focused effort yet. The
pulsing pace and Fernando Altonaga's distorted vocals draw you
into meditations on the perils of creeping authoritarianism on
“Tarnished.” The pastoral pace and deep melancholy of “Forever
Haunted” resonates with the artfully despairing tones of the Closer
period of Joy Division in the way its circular guitar line and synth
melody rides a wave of personal revelation and the contemplation
of an unrelievedly bleak future.
eHpH has long been one of the more interesting modern EBM
bands but Infrared demonstrates that the group of Altonaga and
Angelo Atencio have fully integrated those roots with a more
contemporary post-punk and darkwave sensibility, thus never
sounding stuck in the past.
HARD TO BE A KILLER: A TRIBUTE TO RALPH GEAN
In an alternate universe Ralph Gean is a beloved rock and roll hero
widely known for his brilliantly unique and off-beat songwriting. But
the British Invasion derailed that trajectory and Gean instead has since
become a bit of a legendary figure, with a cult following in Denver
music, who has periodically played shows and is championed by figures
as politically disparate as Boyd Rice (who compiled a collection of
Gean's work in 2007) and Jello Biafra.
That fandom is reflected on this sprawling tribute album assembled
by Arlo White of Hypnotic Turtle Radio and bands like Deadbubbles
and The Buckingham Squares. Every interpretation of Gean's songs is
a worthy listen and a fine showcase for his sheer breadth as an artist.
Contributions from local, experimental eccentrics like Little Fyodor
& Babushka, Claudzilla, and The Babysitters lovingly capture Gean's
essential appeal as an artist with an unvarnished charm and humor.
Eric Allen of The Apples in Stereo fame highlights the science fiction
cowboy persona that Gean could convey while White's band Diablo
Montalban with the late, great eccentric DJ and Denver cultural figure
Frank Bell give “Switzerland” a real dark exotica treatment reminiscent
of weirder moments in Tom Waits' catalog. A fascinating portrait of an
important yet often overlooked artist.
IN THE COMPANY OF SERPENTS – LUX
In the Company of Serpents has long been a band that has aimed
to infuse its music with its interest in cinema, esoteric knowledge,
literature, and how all of those come out of direct human experience,
emotion and an attempt to make sense of life and imbue it with
meaning. Lux is the fullest manifestation of those aims written into
its most sonically dynamic set of songs to date. The crushing yet fluid
heaviness of its sound is paired perfectly with elements of song that
wouldn't sound out of place on a Spaghetti Western soundtrack. “The
Fool's Journey” opens the record as a sort of map for the path set
before us ending with the enigmatic “Prima Materia.” It's a musically
diverse and rich album that places In the Company of Serpents apart
from a mere doom band and more in the realm of Swans' and Neurosis'
own heavy explorations of the human psyche.
For more visit queencitysoundsandart.worpress.com
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LITTLE EYES BY SAMANTA SCHWEBLIN, TRANSLATED FROM
SPANISH BY MEGAN MCDOWELL (2020)
In Samanta Schweblin’s very near future, the newest tech trend
does not come in the form of an app, tablet, or wearable gadget,
but an adorable electronic creature that roams around your home
like an obedient pet. The catch of these craze-worthy, Furby-like
creatures is that the controller is an anonymous and randomly
selected person from anywhere in the world. Dubbed kentuckis,
people decide if they want to be a keeper or one who controls the
kentucki. As most seemingly innocuous tech innovations go, the
concept of implanting yourself among the life of another person
takes many different eerie and disconcerting turns.
The effect of this privacy invading invention is told through
snippets that glimpse the lives of people around the world. Some
have darker experiences, some marked by obsession, and none
are without the eerie violation of privacy that lets us ruminate on
what being alone really means.
Schweblin has managed to master the ability to push forth the
unmistakable feelings of complete unsettlement that manifests
itself as suspense, mastered by the likes of David Lynch. Though
you don’t always know what or why, you know something is
horribly amiss and deeply wrong. Her excellent subtlety and ability
to evoke these feelings make Little Eyes a literary journey into the
horror of the modern world, creating a disturbing reflection of our
darkest human urges.
SAFARI HONEYMOON BY JESSE JACOBS (2014)
Jesse Jacobs, like his fellow Adventure Time alum, Michael
DeForge, provides darker and more psychedelic storytelling when
untied from the constraints of writing for a children’s show.
Though his comics maintain a goofy and almost adorable quality,
Safari Honeymoon is filled with tongue-eating parasites, humandevouring
monsters, and ethereal creatures that communicate
through antennae.
Safari Honeymoon begins with a couple’s honeymoon journey
through a twisted jungle, led by a callous and trigger-happy guide
who provides constant reminders that danger is always around
them. Their journey begins idyllic and carefree, but deteriorates
quickly as their disregard for local life comes back to destroy them.
Jacobs captures the story using only shades of green and
illustrations of animals and plants in this imagined world are laid
out like Ernst Haeckel prints. A quick read, Safari Honeymoon
manages to be a stomach-turning, psychedelic horror with a touch
of humor.
No. 82
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׉	 7cassandra://v_uyaKf0bxWVA3w4j8DeKQBpJRNvY7Lwv5xY8gE_7ZQ` _(,3v׉E׉	 7cassandra://AHCFboPPE6tGnThMbVgux1nSWHqc-HNooO_7Ras7IbI.` _(,3w_(,3vבCט   u׉׉	 7cassandra://hKSbiGfDnbpu_nAWDazuoCjjsyxxDZHFqM93aozncz0 8[`׉	 7cassandra://u9t8WyvW2k0d5Z5t4CMSLkVtBb7XIpEN51HQOgYkvF0ͭ^`r׉	 7cassandra://XK1V0xyOyjwxklKS-FhLVG1_BWNEfxrtIR2KhZcGql83#` ׉	 7cassandra://8FfgunQ8TO10qjj1j2_ioAaARF37dvRR9c3-chpctxU  n͠X_2,3ט  u׉׉	 7cassandra://KFjVhRHYpok5O0lbNrMfXSDs0_PJw5d6f6KTBHbpcOI ` ׉	 7cassandra://5xgXThCo8Uqrqo3-5wjEpdfPUiHE-rVLHrviqVILJwoͫr`r׉	 7cassandra://6BNZYwHtzy7R0pOImm7Rmj54eWlxc2VIbiHzCozMPU0/` ׉	 7cassandra://osf7KbsaOe6vUzUdBuByEn9zMAut-r0MFHFzQrNW9ycͳs͐͠X_3,3׉ECody waited until he was sure they couldn’t see him before ducking
around the far corner of the school, finding some bushes, and puking his
guts out behind them.
‡
Cody snuck out through his bedroom window and made it to the baseball
“That’s mine,” Cody said, hoping he sounded tough — if he did, maybe he
wouldn’t have to fight them. “Give it back.”
“Newbie wants his little cap back,” Rich, a senior and the biggest of the
two kids said, sneering. He held the cap higher than Cody could reach.
“Give it back to me now.”
“Or what?” said Joey, the other kid. He was smaller than Rich, but not by
much, which still made him bigger than Cody. “You gonna fight Rich for
it? Be a big mistake, cap-boy. Maybe the last one you’d get to make. Ain’t
that right, Rich?”
Rich nodded.
Cody’s stomach tightened and he hoped h
puke. He felt tears trying to rise too. All he w
was his cap back.
His dad’s cap. It had the Atlanta Braves A
on it, but they never called it the Braves
cap. It was the Chemo Cap. Cody helped
him pick it out not long after his dad
started losing his hair. For a while,
they’d thought about something with
a funny or positive saying on it, or a
stupid drawing.
“Y’know, Code, my man,” his dad had
said, “let’s go with Atlanta. Once we’ve
got this thing beat, I’ll treat you to the
Braves in the World Series next year. All
four games. They’re going to sweep it. I’v
got a feeling.”
The Braves didn’t even make it to the post
the next year, but they still did better than Codys dad.
He didn’t make it even close to the start of the season. Last
thing he did was put that cap on Cody’s head. Cody never took it off, except
he had to today — first day of school in a new town, and no caps allowed
in class. But the minute the bell rang and he got outside, he put it on. He
didn’t even have time to get it settled just right — his dad wore it tilted a
little to the left, and so did Cody — before Rich grabbed it.
“Well?” Joey said, his voice cruel. “You gonna fight Rich for it or not?”
“No need to fight,” Rich said, still holding the cap like a pennant in a game
of capture the flag. “Let’s all just settle down a little while I explain to– ”
Cody waited a moment before spitting out his name. “Cody.”
“Right. To Cody here that he doesn’t have to fight for his cap. Not that
fighting would do him any good, but there’s no need. We’re going to give
him a chance to earn his cap back. Got a little job that he ought to be able
to handle.”
“What kind of job?” Cody said.
Rich leaned close, his nose almost touching Cody’s. “Be at the baseball
field tonight at midnight. Not one minute later.”
Rich made a show of putting the cap on his own head. “If you’re too
scared to show up, don’t sweat it. I sorta like the way this feels.”
“Looks good on you, too,” Joey said.
“Midnight,” Rich said again as he and Joey walked off, laughing.
field with a couple of minutes to spare before midnight. Rich and Joey
were already there, leaning against Rich’s red Mustang at the edge of the
outfield. Rich was wearing the Chemo Cap. Cody hated the way it looked on
him, but he kept his anger hidden and walked right up to the two assholes.
“What’s the job?”
“You’re gonna set the night on fire,” Rich said, lifting a gasoline can and
shaking it.
Cody heard the gas sloshing inside the can. When he stepped closer, he
smelled it. He looked at the cap on Rich’s fat head. He thought he would do
anything to get it back. Now, watching Rich put the gas can in the trunk,
he wasn’t so sure.
“Get in,” Rich said. “Front seat — between us.”
t in. Rich started the car while Joey climbed
he passenger side, digging Cody in the ribs
h a hard elbow as he did. Cody gave him one
ack, more to see what would happen than
to do any damage, and was surprised when
Joey didn’t do anything.
Rich put the car in gear and peeled
across the outfield, the tires kicking up
divots. Cody hoped there weren’t any
cops around. It was bad enough that his
mom moved them to the sticks — farm
country — to be near her sister, and bad
enough was already made worse by Rich
and Joey, and would undoubtedly take
another downward turn or two whenever
hey got to wherever it was they were going.
e sure as hell didn’t need a cop busting them
dalism or something.
ut tee weren’t any cops, or even a school night
watchman nearby to hear Rich peel off. They got away clean.
Rich drove fast and had them outside the town limits in a few minutes,
picking up speed as they headed out into farmland.
“You know about the Corn Witch?” Rich said.
Joey let out a nervous laugh. “Gives me the sheebie jeevies just hearing
that name.”
“Heebie jeebies, you dumb shit,” Rich said, no nervousness at all in his
laugh. Only contempt.
“Yeah, heebie jeebies. Gave me them, too.”
“What’s a Corn Witch?” Cody asked.
Rich lifted his eyebrows and grinned, the Chemo Cap rising as he did. His
face looked eerie in the dim light from the dashboard instruments. Cody
hated seeing the cap on him.
“Not what,” Rich said. “Who.”
“All right, whatever,” Cody said. “Who’s the Corn Witch?” He turned to
Joey. “Stupid name, Corn Witch.” He was sure Joey flinched when he said it.
“You won’t think it’s stupid if she ever gets ahold of you,” Joey said. “Will
he, Rich?”
“No. He sure won’t.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because she hasn’t fed for a while. A long while.”
׉	 7cassandra://XK1V0xyOyjwxklKS-FhLVG1_BWNEfxrtIR2KhZcGql83#` _(,3x׉EW“She’ll be real hungry,” Joey said.
“So, what is it you want me to do? Burn the witch at the stake?”
“You couldn’t get close enough,” Rich said. “Nobody ever has.”
“Why not?”
“She’s … protected. Lives in an old house. A hundred years old, maybe
two. She’s been there as long as anybody can remember. Nobody knows
for sure how long because nobody’s ever really been to it. You can’t get
close because of the … scarecrows.”
Rich said the word in what he must have thought was a spooky voice, but
he just sounded dumb to Cody.
“She has a circle of scarecrows around her house, and they protect her.”
“Scarecrows?” Cody made the word sound as unspooky as possible.
“You heard me,” Rich said. “You’ll see them in about five minutes, and
you’ll know what I mean, so just shut up until we get there.”
‡
The house was old and dark, set back from the road and surrounded by
cornfields nearing harvest. Power and telephone lines ran along the road,
but none of them extended to the house.
The Corn Witch lives off the grid, Cody thought.
Rich pulled the car onto the shoulder and wasted no time getting out.
Cody followed. Joey took his time, and Cody suspected he would have
preferred to stay in the car. Rich popped the trunk, got the gas can and
handed it to Cody.
“Come on,” Rich said, and stepped into the field, moving slowly among
the tall stalks.
Cody walked close behind him, but Joey held back several steps. Cody’s
eyes adjusted to the darkness of the nearly moonless night by the time
they reached the first scarecrow. Squinting, he saw the silhouette of
another in the distance, and beyond that, the barest hint of another. He
turned his head the other way and saw the same figures, links in the chain
of scarecrows that surrounded the house. He stepped closer to the nearest
one. It looked like it had been there a long time. Somebody put a lot of
trouble into making it, and made it to last.
Rich tapped Cody on the shoulder and handed him a lighter. “Burn it
down,” he said. “Burn the fucker to the ground and you’ll be one scarecrow
closer to getting your little cap back.”
Cody put the gas can on the ground and reached out to the scarecrow.
He felt something like a shock when his fingertips touched the rough,
weathered fabric that covered the straw and corn shucks the scarecrow
was filled with. The dry stuffing rustled and crackled. It’d burn fast. Cody
pressed his hand more firmly against the scarecrow and the shock gave
way to a warmer current of memory:
Cody and his father watching The Wizard of Oz when he was a little boy.
He’d told his dad the scarecrow was his favorite. “Mine, too,” his dad had
said. “Always has been, always will be.”
And that was Dad, Cody thought. Always had been, always would be. He
didn’t need a cap to remind him of that.
“Burn it!” Rich said.
Cody reluctantly took his hand from the scarecrow and turned to face
Rich.
“Burn it!”
“No,” Cody said and dropped the lighter on the ground.
“What?”
“You heard me. I said no. Keep the hat.”
“You pussy,” Rich said. “Scared little pussy! You aren’t getting your cap
back now, and you’re walking back to town.”
“Beats riding with a couple of shits like you two,” Cody said.
“I said burn it, you pussy.”
“You want it burned, asshole, burn it yourself. Or are you afraid of the
Corn Witch? Is that it? Who’s the pussy now?”
Cody walked past Rich and heard the sound of sloshing gas. He didn’t look
back, but got ready to haul real ass in case Rich did something truly stupid
like trying to douse him. He didn’t think Rich would light him, but he wasn’t
completely sure, and was ready to run.
“You think I’m scared?” Rich said, almost shouting. “You think I’m a
pussy?”
The scent of gasoline grew stronger and Cody heard it splashing.
“Joey,” Rich said. “Grab that lighter and give me a hand.”
“Come on, Rich,” Joey said, his voice soft. “Let’s get out of here. I thought
I heard something.”
“Jesus! You too? Either get your ass over here and help me or you’re
walking back to town with the newbie!”
Joey didn’t move.
Cody stopped and turned to look at Rich. “Let it go, man,” he said. “Keep
the stupid hat and leave the scarecrow alone.”
“Fuck the both of you,” Rich said, and thumbed the lighter to life.
The scarecrow burst into flames when Rich waved the lighter under its
chin. He took a quick step back to keep from being burned, but he didn’t
move fast enough. Engulfed in flames, the scarecrow’s arms reached out
and grabbed Rich. Blazing hands lifted him from the ground. Cody had
never heard anything as horrible as Rich’s screams.
The scarecrow raised Rich’s writhing body high above its head and shook
him hard three times. Rich was still screaming when it threw him into the
circle of scarecrows. Something dark and immense rose up and took Rich
from the sky before he landed, and a moment later, the screams stopped.
Cody and Joey ran.
‡
Rich’s car keys must have been in his pocket, so Cody and Joey walked
back to town. It took them until nearly dawn, but neither of them spoke
a word the whole way, any more than either of them looked back to see
how long the scarecrow flames illuminated the sky.
Cody snuck into his bedroom, but couldn’t sleep. When he heard his
mom in the kitchen making breakfast, he went through his motions of
showering, dressing, and getting ready for the day. After he ate, he told
her he’d ride his bike to school.
Rich’s Mustang was still parked on the shoulder of the road when Cody
got to the cornfield. He laid his bike on the ground and stood still for a
moment. In daylight it was easy to see how the scarecrows encircled the
house.
He took a deep breath and walked into the field. When he found the
scarecrow, it showed no signs of having been burned. The fabric wasn’t
scorched, the arms, covered in flames last night, bore evidence only of
years — How many? Decades? Centuries? — of sunshine and rain, hot
weather and cold, growing seasons and winter seasons. There was no
sign of the gas can, and Cody felt sure there would be no sign of Rich.
The only difference — the only thing that told Cody this was the
scarecrow he’d seen last night — was the Atlanta Braves baseball cap
resting on its head. Cody looked at the cap for a long moment, then
reached up to adjust it so that it was tilted slightly to the left, the way it
was meant to be worn.
SCARECROWS WAS PREVIOUSLY PUBLISHED IN NIGHTMARES UNHINGED: TWENTY TALES
OF TERROR, 2015 (HEX PUBLISHERS). JOSHUA VIOLA IS A #1 DENVER POST BESTSELLING
AUTHOR, FOUR-TIME COLORADO BOOK AWARD FINALIST, AND THE OWNER OF HEX
PUBLISHERS.
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FEARSOME FOREST CREATURES:
BY LAUREN SHULTS
Nestled in the Coloradan mountains, just
a stone’s throw southwest from Telluride,
is Lizard Head mountain, home to the only
native cetacean of Colorado: the Slide-Rock
Bolter. The land-locked leviathan bolts down
the mountainside and takes what is harming
its home without a second thought. This
deadly mountain-whale has been devouring
tourists, lumberjacks and miners alike while
sweeping through trees and all other natural
life in its path for over 100 years — that we
know of.
Waiting dormant atop Lizard Head the whale
watches the land near the San Juan Mountains
with his careful beady eyes for anything to
wander through the forested area. He hangs
from the peak with his split, clawed tail facing
his body downward. If the monster notices
something encroaching on his territory, he
easily lifts his malign fluke and bolts down
the mountainside, sparing no passers-by. It is
simply foolish to meander even remotely near
the Lizard Head area, according to the tale. In
no way is it in one’s best interest to meet the
gargantuan creature with its jaw full of razorsharp
teeth and staunch dedication to keeping
humans clear of the area.
The origin of the legend is rumored to come
from lumberjacks in the late 19th and early
20th centuries. Gathering at the end of their
work days they’d share horror stories late into
the night, with one person trying to out-scare
the next. Each of their tales held a grain of
truth to what was happening in their daily lives.
From the mining in the mountainous area the
environment deteriorated and many men lost
their lives through their work. In conjunction
with the terrors of mining, lumberjacks played
their own part in the destruction of the region
by deforesting the expansive forest.
Though the dawning and meaning of the
Bolter differ from one story to the next, the
monster’s mission remains the same: to make
humans extinct from the forest. More than
a century ago ago everyone in the Colorado
mountain regions were aware of the chilling
tale because of the booming mining and
milling taking place in the forests. Many of
No. 82
׉	 7cassandra://M5Jt8P20NHxjlnPyXt2Q4SGLTAZ4fHfPCbt1X-D2Kyg/` _(,3z׉Eithe mining or lumberjack work-related deaths were blamed on the
creature, which had to be dealt with so that life and work could go on,
uninterrupted and without any fear.
In the early 20th century it is said that a park ranger stuffed a dummy
human with explosives to lure the creature from the mountaintop. The
ranger thought he was easily tricking the Rocky Mountain Whale to
meet his death. Instead, the flourishing mining and mill town, Rico,
home to about 5,000 at the time, was nearly demolished and the Bolter
lived on.
Further spreading the talk of the creature was William T. Cox, writer,
conservationist and Minnesota’s first State Forester. In 1910, the year
before becoming the State Forester, he published the story of the
Slide-Rock Bolter to a popular Minnesota newspaper, birthing more
fear in people of the leviathan.
Though the Bolter was at the forefront of most people’s minds when
it came to viscous forest creatures, Cox actually authored an entire
book, Fearsome Creatures of the Lumberwoods, filled with similar
deadly beings that lurk in forests, ready to snatch the lives of whoever
is near. The fantastical encyclopedic book outlines all of the creatures
in such great detail that no one after reading the story would ever want
to step foot near a wooded area.
The book can still be found today and is well worth reading if you want
to be scared to your wit’s end. Within it, Cox writes, “In the mountains
of Colorado, where in summer the woods are becoming infested with
tourists, much uneasiness has been caused by the presence of the
Slide-Rock Bolter. This frightful animal lives only in the steepest
mountain country where the slopes are greater than 45 degrees. It has
an immense head, with small eyes, and a mouth somewhat on the order
of a sculpin, running back beyond its ears. The tail consist of a divided
flipper, with enormous grab-hooks, which it fastens over the crest of
the mountain or ridge, often remaining there motionless for days at
a time, watching the gulch for tourists or any other hapless creature
that may enter it. At the right moment, after sighting a tourist, it will
lift its tail, thus loosening its hold on the mountain, and with its small
eyes riveted on the poor unfortunate, and drooling thin skid grease
from the corners of its mouth, which greatly accelerates its speed, the
Bolter comes down like a toboggan, scooping in its victim as it goes, its
own impetus carrying it up the next slope, where it again slaps its tail
over the ridge and waits. Whole parties of tourists are reported to have
been gulped at one scoop by taking parties far back into the hills. The
animal is a menace not only to tourist but to the woods as well. Many a
draw through spruce-covered slopes has been laid low, the trees being
knocked out by the roots or mowed off as by a scythe where the Bolter
has crashed down through from the peaks above.”
Cox had a history of being critical in his work as the State Forester. He
always harshly commented on the amount of deforestation happening
and did not hold his tongue when it came to his assessments of forest
grounds. In addition to routine classifications of soil in various areas,
giving recommendations to councils and pricing potential lumber, he
urged the state to reduce their presence in timber trade. He did not
agree with what was being done to the natural land.
Eventually, in 1924, the board had enough of his advanced
environmental “foolishness” and Cox was let go from his position.
But he didn’t finish his forest escapades and rather charged deeper
into conservation. He spent a great deal of time in Brazil studying the
Amazon Rainforest after vacating his role and over time, he helped the
country strategize a more environmentally sound plan to participate
23
in the timber trading economy. Upon returning to the United States
Cox became a founding member of the Department of Conservation,
known today as the Division of Forestry.
Meanwhile, the town near the home of the Slide-Rock Bolter, Rico,
became a part of the Pioneer Mining District of Colorado to mine
silver, copper and gold just outside of the town, in addition to already
being a large lumber hub of the Western United States. In 1891, the
Rio Grande Southern Railroad arrived, stretching the bandwidth of the
town’s riches even farther, across Colorado to Durango, motivating
more mining and chopping, thus consequently more harm to the
environment. Today, less than 300 people live in Rico, presumedly not
because of the Bolter himself being angry over the activity, but because
of the lack of land made available to mine. What was territory of the
Ute Tribe was being illegally mined by money-hungry Coloradans. The
abrupt drop in mining and milling consequently has the same timeline
of the end of most of the Slide-Rock Bolter sightings.
Though the monster may just be a creation of lumberjacks to ward off
tourists, a man with a mission to stop deforestation, or a group of early
environmentalists scared of what mining was doing to people in the
area, the tale lives to warn everyone of their individual actions when
in the natural environment and a reminder to be cognizant of what
is at stake. Cox may have created Macrostoma saxiperrumptus, the
scientific yet fantastical name of the Slide-Rock Bolter, in rage against
mass deforestation but through all the terror he caused, it is he who we
have to thank, in part, for advocating for the trees long before it was
mainstream.
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#SAVEOURSTAGES
SUPPORT NATIONAL INDEPENDENT
LIVE MUSIC VENUES FROM
FOLDING TO THE CORONAVIRUS
A show at an independent venue is a rite of passage.
Do you remember the first time you packed into a mildly musty, dim, dusky venue
with 75 strangers and listened to a band you’d never heard of? That first experience
hearing music that your parents or the radio didn’t play, that can trigger the beginning
of a lifelong chase to join the elect few who can brag, “Yeah, I saw them before their
album came out.”
For some, that first show may have been at the venue in Meow Wolf's House of
Eternal Return, known to some as Fancy Town.
Though we all miss live music and the palpable bond it brings, Meow Wolf has made
the decision to push all our remaining 2020 live shows into 2021 and beyond. There is,
unfortunately, too much uncertainty around safety for both audience members and
touring acts to present live music this year.
Some of our fellow independent music venues have closed their doors permanently.
We urgently need to #SaveOurStages to help others keep their doors open.
“Without venues, we lose a sense of self-discovery, we lose connection in a
community intrinsic to music, and weaken subcultures spawned by those spaces.
We need these sanctuaries, these dance floors, these community containers, as they
have given birth to something bigger than just a stage or building,” says Meow Wolf’s
Experience Art Director, Sofie Cruse.
The National Independent Venue Association (NIVA) has brought over 2,000 venues
(including us) together from all 50 states to fight against the closure of these small
venues by lobbying Congress for federal aid with the #SaveOurStages Act and
#RestartAct. These acts were submitted to Congress back in July, but do not have
a vote date yet, so we urge you to join us in sharing this hashtag and writing your
representatives now.
Ask your representatives to support the #SaveOurStages bill; it only takes a minute,
and your support could provide a lifeline for independent music venues across the
country.
“It's more than losing a venue,” says Cruse, “it's losing the connective tissue to DJs,
performers, promoters, industry professionals, dance floor enthusiasts, and takes
away the moments that can form and shape a subculture, town, genre of music, into
a lasting language.”
Austin-born and raised Cruse was quick to rattle off some of her favorite hometown
independent venues:
The Mohawk, The Scoot Inn, Cheer Up Charlies, The Parish, Antone’s, Stubb’s, Hotel
Vegas to name a few. And we’d never forget Empire Control Room where we took
over for three days of art installations and daytime and nighttime dance parties
dubbed Fractallage for SXSW 2018.
By carsen greene
BIG FREEDIA | PHOTO BY SHAYLA BLATCHFORD
STRFKR | PHOTO BY KATE RUSSELL
׉	 7cassandra://keneQhb1UM5cvSxcIwRBX7c-HDVjnVTNbbqAKg3qEQ0.` _(,3|׉EuOur friends and fellow NIVA members
at House of Yes provide a safe space in
Brooklyn for the LGBTQ+ communities
to throw parties, host yoga, perform
burlesque, and remix films like when
HOY premiered our documentary Meow
Wolf: Origin Story with a flying George
R. R. Martin and rap battle between
Art and Money. At Elsewhere (also in
Brooklyn), folx find rotating immersive
art experiences in each cranny of the
building, plus The Rooftop, a pretty rad
bar and venue.
Denver staple Oriental Theater, where
RUMTUM recreated an incredible mural
inspired by the faded original from the
theater’s 1927 opening, are also NIVA
members. This Colorado stage, along
with Red Rocks, Mission Ballroom and
so many others need our support.
At home in New Mexico, we are proud
to have worked with (or partied in) so
many venues: Launchpad and Sunshine
Theater, who both play a huge role in
the promotion of local bands, Taos
Mesa Brewing Company, who
are
dealing with the aftermath of a fire,
The Lensic, a space for all ages, and the
Santa Fe Opera, home of 16 world opera
premieres, to name a few.
Every city has their beloved independent
venues, and everyone in that city has
their favorite.
Have a favorite independent venue?
Head to lyte.com/covid19relief to donate
directly to that venue.
(Note: Meow Wolf does not accept
donations. We only want to signal-boost
other
independent
venues
in need.
Meow Wolf’s House of Eternal Return
supports live music’s eternal postCOVID-19
return!)
“It goes beyond dance floor epiphanies,”
says Cruse, “venues give support to
artists to continue their craft and a
home for the listener. #SaveOurStages
for the sake of that connective tissue,
in this time of great separation, when
a sense of community is needed most."
Join Sofie and all of us at Meow Wolf in
supporting the #SaveOurStages campaign!
25
POPPY | PHOTO BY KATE RUSSELL
ORVILLE PECK | PHOTO BY KATE RUSSELL
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VICTORIAN HORRORS
RETURNS FOR ITS
27TH HALLOWEEN
BY RYAN DUNN
One of the oldest and most beloved Denver Halloween traditions
will continue on this year despite the ongoing coronavirus pandemic.
Victorian Horrors, an annual celebration of Gothic literature held at the
Molly Brown House Museum in Capitol Hill Denver, will take place this
October and feature a redesigned program that adheres to Colorado
Covid-19 guidelines.
With visitors allowed into the Molly Brown House in groups of eight
every 20 minutes, a prerecorded audio tour will guide guests through the
house and will feature taped readings of contemporary gothic stories
from Molly Brown’s era.
This will be the 27th year that Victorian Horrors has been held at
the Molly Brown House. The tradition began in the 1980’s as a way to
introduce audiences to the books and stories that Brown would have
been reading when she lived in Denver around the turn of the 20th
century.
The event has evolved from its beginnings as a ramshackle
environmental theatre production featuring a few actors performing
readings in the house to its current incarnation as a sprawling affair
complete with authentic décor, props and lighting that support the
stories being told in the house.
Many of the actors who participate have longstanding ties to the
program, including David and Julie Payne, who have been a part of the
event for each of its 27 years, and John Wittbrodt, who will return to play
Edgar Allan Poe for the fourth time. Victorian Horrors pays its actors a
fee that allows the production to be competitive with the fall theatre
schedule and maintain venerable relationships with its actors.
While gothic literature peaked in the 1800’s with the emergence of
towering authors like Ann Radcliffe, Mary Shelley, and Poe, their works
had become classics by the time Brown moved into the Pennsylvania
Street manor. The stories included in Victorian Horrors often reflect the
cannon of literature that Brown and her family would have read at the
time.
The gore in Poe’s poems and the grotesque themes that are foundational
to the Victorian gothic genre bring a spooky twist to the event. Brown
lived in the house in the late 1800’s and early 1900’s with her husband
James Joseph “J.J.” Brown, long before her fateful passage on the RMS
Titanic that earned her the famous “unsinkable” appellation.
“We like to say that the Victorians sort of invented Halloween as we
know it here in America,” said Andrea Malcomb, the director of the
Molly Brown House Museum. “In Margaret Brown’s time in the late
1800’s, Halloween would have been another opportunity to get young
people together as part of courting and dating so young people could
No. 82
get to know each other at Halloween parties, play games, and have an
opportunity to interact.”
While typical years involve a nontraditional tour route that brings
visitors in close proximity to the actors, the pandemic has necessitated
some alterations to the production. Actors came to the house in
September to record their readings for the audio tour, and guests will
be able to stop in one room during their tour to interact with a live
performance over Zoom. The live performance will be done by a rotating
cast of actors who will portray the floating head of an author reading
their works from beyond the grave.
Stories are selected from a running list of works kept by the actors
and the museum staff. The staff meets with the actors in early July to
make their selections, with the group making an effort not to repeat any
given story more than once every five years. The traditional HispanicAmerican
folktale La Llorona and the H.G. Wells novel The Invisible Man
will comprise two of the five stories portrayed this year.
In addition to the readings, this year’s edition will feature an oddities
expo showcasing various curiosities of the Victorian era such as
taxidermy, skeletons, and strange rarities kept in jars. The Learned
Lemur and Atomic Folk Art are partnering with the Molly Brown House
for the expo and will have items available for purchase.
While this year’s production may differ from years past, the museum
staff have worked to ensure that the beloved event stays true to its
roots.
“It’s a very popular event and we’ve had people who have come to
just about every single year and they love it and they request stories
and authors and they have favorite actors,” said Malcomb. “So, it’s
something that the community really loves as an event and plus it serves
as a really great fundraiser for our organization because of course we are
a nonprofit museum. It all goes to help keep our doors open.”
27TH ANNUAL VICTORIAN HORRORS
Where: Molly Brown House Museum | 1340 Pennsylvania St., Denver
When: October 16, 17, 23, 24, 29, 30 | 6-9 p.m.
Tickets: $20 / $18 for Historic Denver members, seniors and children
Available for purchase by phone: (303) 832-4092, ext. 16
or online at www.mollybrown.org.
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͠X_5,3׉EUゴジラ
モスラ
GOJIRA
ART + WORDS BY PETER GLANTING
GODZILLA (ゴジラ, GOJIRA)
Like so many of Godzilla's friends and foes, Godzilla themself
comes from mysterious origins. In the words of Wikipedia:
"generally depicted as an enormous, violent, prehistoric sea
monster awakened and empowered by nuclear radiation.” You
can't say fairer than that.
MOTHRA (モスラ, MOSURA)
When the Mothra movie premiered in the U.S., theaters would
アンギラス
メカゴジラ
lay out a bunch of weapons on tables in the lobby, with signs
that read: "These could not defeat Mothra." I'd like to see a
similar form of promotion for the Hunger Games, with just an
empty table in the theater with a sign that reads: "They sure
are hungry.”
Anguiris (アンギラス, Angirasu)
Anguiris can burrow underground and move at great speeds.
According to very credible sources, Anguiris's brain is in their
chest.
MECHAGODZILLA (メカゴジラ, MEKAGOJIRA)
Whether they're made by aliens or by humans, Mechagodzilla
エビラ
is a constant mechanical thorn in Godzilla's side. Mechagodzilla
can fire missiles and energy beams, and can generate force
fields as well.
EBIRAH (エビラ, EBIRA)
A giant lobster.
HEDORAH (ヘドラ, HEDORA)
One of the actors who played Hedora had to have an
ヘドラ
appendectomy while still in the Hedora suit. My neighbor Jack
told me this.
׉	 7cassandra://lG7Di4Mwso2g7QQFapsawBfCLPOaYV5fSHaUKx0h5ec'` _(,3׉Eキングギドラ
ラドン
ガイガン
KING GHIDORAH (キングギドラ, KINGU GIDORA)
I don't really know what King Ghidorah's canon origin is. Their
CV boasts being an alien dragon, an interdimensional god, a
Japanese guardian spirit, and genetic experiment. You decide.
RODAN (ラドン, RADON)
The radioactive Pteranodon has become friendlier-looking
over the years as they have become less of a menacing villain
and more of a helpful, prehistoric friend. Studios changed the
Japanese name "Radon" for English speaking audiences "to avoid
confusion with the element radon.”
GIGAN (ガイガン, GAIGAN)
The cyborg known as Gigan boasts a saw blade on their torso
and hook hands. These hook hands get replaced by chainsaws in
Gigan's later years.
KAMOEBAS (カメーバ, KAMĒBA)
Kamēba is barely a Godzilla kaiju. They were in two nonGodzilla
pieces of media before making a brief appearance in
Godzilla: Tokyo S.O.S. I probably could have included a more
prolific monster, but I have a soft spot for the enormous turtle.
SPACEGODZILLA (スペースゴジラ, SUPĒSUGOJIRA)
Unlike Megalon, SpaceGodzilla is very smart. SpaceGodzilla is a
clone from space.
MEGALON (メガロ, MEGARO)
According to my extensive research, Megalon is supposed to be
very strong, as well as profoundly feeble-minded. I'm pretty sure
that the 90s SNK fighting game King of the Monsters based their
character Beetle Mania on Megalon, though I always thought BM
seemed pretty sharp.
メガロ
スペースゴジラ
カメーバ
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YOU CAN BUY A HOME
OF YOUR VERY OWN
BY JOHN "JJ" JEFFREY
Misinformation. How many times have we missed out on an opportunity due to misinformation? I for
one can say probably more than I would like to admit. I wanted to highlight this issue that I feel is so
prevalent in home buying and home financing. Let’s take some of the biggest factors that I feel keep
people from even attempting to buy a home with a few Did you knows?
1. Did you know you don’t have to have 20 percent to buy a home? YES YOU READ THAT
CORRECTLY! We have programs that are a low as 3 percent down! Veterans can finance 100
percent and there are down payment assistance programs for non-veterans that make it possible
for zero down as well. We also have a Doctor/Dentist loan that provides 100 percent financing.
2. Did you know that you can cover your closing costs through your interest rate? YEP! Some
lenders advertise this as their “no closing costs” options. Ultimately you do pay for closing costs,
however you do so by taking a slightly higher rate and the lender can issue a lender credit to cover
closing costs. This can be a great way to offset funds for purchasing your new home. For those
who already own a home you can do this when refinancing as well.
3. Did you know that you can still buy a home after a bankruptcy and/or a foreclosure? There are
waiting periods depending on the type of loan you need, however they probably aren’t as long
as you think. Some programs are as short as two years and depending on the circumstances,
there may now be no waiting period at all.
4. Did you know that getting pre-qualified doesn’t cost a dime nor does it obligate you to
obtain a loan? It’s so valuable because it gives us a clear picture of how you can buy a new
home and reveals if there are any issues we need to clear up to move forward. It’s truly the
starting point and the space to get all your questions answered and concerns addressed.
The key to all of this is to ASK! With my many years of experience, and the support and products
available through Westerra Credit Union, there isn’t a question or scenario we haven’t seen or heard.
“What if my credit score isn’t high enough?” What if it IS?! “I don’t even know where to begin …” WE
DO! Part of getting pre-qualified is talking through each step of home financing so that you are
comfortable. “What if I don’t qualify?” Then we plan and we plan together. Sometime life just happens
and we understand that. We have closed loans for many people who initially may not have qualified.
With some planning and strategic moves we can usually create a winning scenario and sometimes it
just takes time. By getting pre-qualified we will be able to answer all of these questions and remove
the misinformation that truly can stop the dream of home ownership before it begins.
Now, is it time to have that conversation to see how you, yes, YOU, can buy a home of your own? I am
a call away and would love to help you step into home ownership.
HAVE QUESTIONS OR WANT MORE INFORMATION? CONTACT ME:
JOHN “JJ” JEFFREY
MORTGAGE LOAN OFFICER, NMLS #201863
WESTERRA CREDIT UNION
JJEFFREY@WESTERRACU.COM
OFFICE: (720) 921-3012 | CELL: (303) 618-1990
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A Place Where
Humans & Furbabies
Come Together
BY SHANGELA
On a clear fall morning, the air is crisp and the sun is rising at Berkeley Park in West Denver.
Morning business is going as usual with owners walking their furbabies to Berkeley Dog
Park and letting them off leash to enjoy some fureedom. A group of wagging-tale-canines
surround me, Shangela. With my ears pointed, tail up, and my doggie bling glistening in the
morning sun, I am up to something:
“Ok class. Let’s begin our morning fur-beauty routine to start your day. First, perform a
quick shake to fluff up your fur. You don’t want to have a 'dog-bed-head' look walking down
Tennyson Street. Trust me, humans will judge you. Next, proceed to a series of slow stretches.
Bow down and stick your fur-hind as far in the air as it can go. Don’t worry, no one is watching.
Then, stand straight up on your front paws and extend your hind legs as far as you can. That’s
good. Now, reach out your neck like you got a fresh rabbit scent from afar. Slowly turn left to
right. Lastly, give your neighbor a friendly sniff n’ greet and let’s start our day!”
The dogs scurry off to their owners, and in complete self adoration of successfully giving
my first fur-yoga class, I perform my happy dance chasing my tail three times clockwise,
then three times counterclockwise. Today is a great day in Berkeley Park!
A FURRY PERSPECTIVE OF BERKELEY
Berkeley is a highly desired Northwest
Denver neighborhood located just
south of I-70 and east of Sheridan
Boulevard that features many of
Denver’s iconic brick bungalows built
just after the turn of the century. This
neighborhood is famous for having two
parks each with its own lake: Berkeley
Park and Rocky Mountain Lake Park as
well as an enormous 2-acre off leash dog
rk. This provides tons of opportunity to
ur furbaby get their exercise just minutes
m yr doorstep. In 2011, residents were able
to pass funding which helped foster rapid commercial
growth on Tennyson Street. Today, Tennyson boasts an old,
residential “Main Street” feeling featuring small businesses, trendy eateries and
shops on either side. Tennyson has blossomed into a community center providing
many seasonal events, art walks, and activities for humans and furbabies alike.
SHANGELA’S PICKS: BEST FURFRIENDLY SPOTS & BUSINESSES
If you are looking for an excellent furry friendly breakfast place, be sure to visit Cozy
Cottage on 43rd and Tennyson. They have a large dog friendly patio and you are given
your own water bowl! The owners often switch up the menu to compliment Colorado’s
seasonality such as Pumpkin Spice Pancakes in fall – a must visit! For all you beer drinkers,
be sure to visit Call to Arms Brewing located at 45th and Tennyson. This festive hangout
is great for sampling their house-made brews and hard seltzers. Furry friends are allowed
out on the patio! If you want to keep your car looking great and want to avoid abrasive car
washes, be sure to go “hand washed” style at Mr. Car Wash located on 38th near the corner
of Lowell. This wonderful family owned car wash provides a high level of integrity while
using non-abrasive washing techniques – something that is very difficult to find anywhere
in Denver. They are extremely furry friendly, not to mention, they have the best car wash
service in town!
Chadwick V. R. Williams & Shangela | Your Denver Real Estate Concierge
denverrealestatepro.com | (720) 666-9805 | chadwick@denverrealestatepro.com
If you are interested in buying or selling a
home in Berkeley, or anywhere in or around
Denver, please be sure to reach out me or
Chadwick. We provide our own staging services
and also have a team of professionals who can
remodel or fix any home. Also, look to the left
if you need a great lender. “JJ” John Jeffrey with
Westerra Credit Union is my favorite lender
with over 25 years experience. He is offering
some
excellent
financing
packages with
interest rates below 3 percent! JJ’s contact info
is on the page next door along with some great
tips for buying a home, whether you’re a firsttimer
or have previous experience.
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AND THE SUBTERRANEAN BUNNY
DEFENDERS GO UNDERGROUND
BY ELISA SARGENT
ILLUSTRATION BY DANIEL CROSIER | COLORING BY KEVIN WALTZ
In recent years, as many of you may know, this reporter has settled
down in Denver, and I have generally kept my stories in Denver and about
Denver events, however, the story I have for my readers today expands
a bit past the boundary of our city, into a small field. My story of course
starts in our beloved hometown, where I live and write, but although the
rumors of a new phenomenon started here, it took me on a quest through
several states and through several months.
I initially heard about the phenomenon in a café. A café where I go every
day for a small coffee before going into the office. I was reaching across
the counter to get my single-serving sugar packet when I noticed a man,
frozen in place, with a dreamy look in his eyes standing across from me.
When I casually inquired about his state, he told me the most amazing
story.
The night before last Saturday, or perhaps last Saturday, as far as he
could remember, he attended a small circus, in a field, just outside of
town. This of course piqued my curiosity. The traditional circus has all
but disappeared. Lifelong performers of circus arts have been relegated
to the corners of county fairs, or retired altogether, and the live animals
from the circus have all found homes in zoos or sanctuaries. I asked him
what he saw there, as it was clearly on his mind. The man quickly assured
me that there were no live animals at the circus, but some type of
mechanized creatures, none of which he could expressly identify. There
were bright lights, projecting colors he could not explain, and of course
food, which he could not remember. The one clear item he brought up in
his strange ramblings was – fuzzy, pink performers.
After hearing the strange story from the man in the café, I felt the
fever to track down this new enigma. This is a fever which reporters
often get which leads reporters such as myself to go to extreme steps
to find and report strange stories to readers such as yourself. To start
my investigation, I scoured the internet for several days and could not
find a single promotion for this new circus, only vague firsthand personal
accounts of a mysterious big top appearing randomly across the country.
I packed my bags at this point and set forth to personally track this new
event. I travelled through the summer to several towns, following the
stories of dream-eyed, vague, firsthand personal accounts. I arrived at
the described locations to find empty fields, without so much as a puff
of popcorn left behind to prove the existence of the mysterious big top.
As the days shortened and summer harvest was harvested from the
sprawling rural fields, I felt my fever subside and admitted defeat.
Returning to Denver to pursue more tangible stories, I turned my car back
down the interstate at full speed only to stop short as the traffic halted
due to a procession of cars pulling off the highway onto a small country
road. As I sat waiting for the cars to clear, I looked across the dry, dying
stalks of corn in the field next to the highway. The gleam of the setting
sun reflected a yellowish ray of light onto a spired canvas of a colorful,
old-fashioned circus tent poking up from behind the beige corn stalks. It
was right there, the big top I had been looking for.
׉	 7cassandra://5D9XeW_kqKdBpekf-tJFAlrSgcH09f4cqE_SKS059RE+` _(,3׉EOI eagerly followed the slow thread of cars off the interstate and pulled
into a cleared section of the field. Leaving my car behind, I followed the
crowds through the muddy grass and rotting pumpkin field to the gate
in front of the line of tents, tents that were carefully placed in a straight
row pointing directly to the main event, the object of my summer long
obsession.
I approached the entrance to purchase a ticket, and the young man
selling tickets looked familiar. Not just the ticket seller, but the entire
experience began to feel familiar, as if I had been there sometime during
my childhood, or if maybe I had been there last Saturday night. I was
shaken out of my hazy nostalgia by a slight growl from an odd creature
that was stationed near the young ticket sellers’ feet. I describe the
creature as a creature because I could not identify exactly what it was.
I cannot say that it was an animal, because it was not an animal, it
resembled a dog while not quite being a dog. It was made from some
type of metal, I assume, and run by steam based on observation of small
puffs of steam fluffing out of the ears. I was held by its brightly lit pink
eyes for a moment before I was able to look away and move onto the
thoroughfare.
The moment I passed through the main gate, the setting sun
disappeared, and the lights on the big top electrified and projected the
color the man in the café could not explain. I wandered through the
smokey smell of popcorn past several tents as random lights flickered
on. Shadows formed from inside the tents of strange, large creatures.
Some shapes resembled the shape of elephants, but were not exactly
elephants, others resembled the shape of horses, but were not exactly
horses. Some were a fuzzy combination of both. Music started, from
somewhere, mixed with sporadic hollow mechanical animal sounds
emanating from inside the attractions. My reporter instincts pushed me
to visit every tent, but a magnetic draw to the big top pulled me past the
small curiosities to the towering pavilion at the end of the row. I quickly
found myself seated in the main event, grasping my notebook to record
every detail.
The first act to come into the ring was a small group of Peruvian
acrobats. Having been to Lima several times as a field reporter, my
skepticism was immediately aroused. Never in my several tours in Peru
have I ever seen an act quite like this. Strange, small men in pink fuzzy
outfits silently meandered into the arena. From there, an explosion of
action and sound erupted that I cannot quite describe. In fact, I am not
able to remember much more after the beginning of the performance,
and my notes have stopped. To clarify, my notes did not technically stop,
but instead, the words of my notes stopped, and at some point I began
to write symbols and squiggly lines on my notepad.
I found myself back in Denver shortly after the event. The journey home
is not something I remember, but the experience will be with me forever.
I had hoped to spend the summer locating and revealing every detail
of this mystery to you, my readers, but I can only repeat the rumors
being passed around about this new phenomenon. There is certainly
something out there, the origin of which is questionable but somehow
familiar. The only thing this reporter can state for sure is, despite the
complex blue haze of digital entertainment and never-ending stream
of information available to our modern fingertips, there is still mystery,
unseen beauty and something indescribably real, all contained under a
canvas tent, in a field somewhere. Find it if you can.
33
ILLUSTRATION SOURCED FROM: JUANJO NEZNA, ¡SARTRE CABRÓN!
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LANCE INKWELL, INKWELL SPIDER
BEST OF BIRDY FROM ISSUE 058, OCTOBER 2015
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